A murmur of assent ran through the lines. “Now, thin,” went on Sergeant Kelly, “all you men who are educated or who think ye cud learn to do paper work, step two paces to the front.” About half of the prisoners came forward. “Now, thin, all who’d like to learn the barberin’ business advance two paces.” All save two moved toward him with alacrity. The sergeant addressed the remaining pair: “What did the two of you do before you joined the army?” he asked. “We was laborin’ men,” answered one. “Very well, thin, all you educated guys take these here gunnysacks and pick up every scrap of paper around the parade grounds. And the rest of you, who want to learn barberin’, you grab these here lawn mowers and cut grass until I tell you to leave off. You two laborin’ men kin go back inside the tent and take a nap.” § 157 A Distinction and a Difference On the Congressional Limited a passenger who, to judge from the visible evidences, had been patronizing a bootlegger, hailed the Pullman conductor as the latter passed through the car. “Shay, conductor,” he inquired rather thickly, “how far is it from Wilmington to Baltimore?” The conductor told him the distance, and passed on. On his next appearance the inebriated one halted him again: “How far is it,” he asked, “from Baltimore to Wilmington?” “I told you just a few minutes ago,” said the Pullman man. “No, you didn’t,” said the traveler. “You told me how far it was from Wilmington to Baltimore. What I want to know now is how far is it from Baltimore to Wilmington.” “Say, listen,” said the irate conductor. “What are you trying to do—make a goat of me? If it’s so many miles from Wilmington to Baltimore, isn’t it necessarily bound to be the same number of miles from Baltimore to Wilmington?” “Not nesheshar’ly,” said the other. “It’s only a week from Christmas to New Year’s, but look what a devil of a distance it is from New Year’s to Christmas.” § 158 The Prediction That Came True A young woman in the confessional confided that she was afraid she had been spending some of her money foolishly. “Spending your money foolishly calls for penance,” said the priest sternly. “How have you been spending yours?” “Well, Father, I went to a fortune teller,” admitted the penitent. “Oh, ho, so you went to a fortune teller, eh? Well, that’s wrong to begin with. In the first place, professional fortune tellers are most of them frauds, and in the second place, they pretend to deal with the supernatural. And what did you do for this fortune teller?” “I gave him two dollars, Father.” “Worse and worse—wasting your hard-earned wages on a fakir. And, in exchange for your two dollars what did he do for you?” “He told me a pack of lies, Father, about my past and my future.” “What did he say about your past?” “Only a pack of lies, as I was just afther tellin’ you.” “And what did he tell you about your future?”