“The first of July will be the last of August!” § 173 Of a Careless Nature A colored man owned a mule which, for reasons best known to himself he desired to sell. He heard that a neighbor down the road was in the market for a mule. So he put a halter on the animal and led her to the cabin of the other negro. At once negotiations were entered into. The owner had delivered himself of a eulogy touching on the strength, capacity for hard work, and amiable disposition of his beast, when the prospective purchaser broke in with a question: “Is dis yere mule fast?” “Fast?” the proprietor snorted. “Look yere!” He gave the mule a kick in the ribs, whereupon she bucked sideways, tore down a strip of fencing, galloped headlong through a week’s washing, butting against the side of the barn, and then caroming off, tore across a garden patch and vanished into the woods beyond the clearing. “Look yere, nigger,” said the owner of the damaged property, “dat mule must be blind.” “She ain’t blind,” said the owner; “but she jest natchelly don’t keer a damn!” § 174 The Light That Failed An old colored man, who had been crippled in the railroad service, served for many years as a watchman at a grade crossing in the outskirts of an Alabama town. By day he wielded a red flag and by night he swung a lantern. One dark night a colored man from the country, driving home from town, steered his mules across the track just as the Memphis flier came through and abolished him, along with his team and his wagon. His widow sued the railroad for damages. At the trial the chief witness for the defence was the old crossing watchman. Uncle Gabe stumped to the stand and took the oath to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Under promptings from the attorney for his side, he proceeded to give testimony strongly in favor of the defendant corporation. He stated that he had seen the approaching team in due time and that, standing in the street, he had waved his lantern to and fro for a period of at least one minute. In spite of the warning, he said, the deceased had driven upon the rails. Naturally, the attorney for the plaintiff put him to a severe cross-examination. Uncle Gabe answered every question readily and with evident honesty. He told just how he had held the lantern, how he had swung and joggled it and so forth and so on. After court had adjourned the lawyer for the railroad sought out the old man and congratulated him upon his behavior as a witness. “Gabe,” he said, “you acquitted yourself splendidly. Weren’t you at all nervous while on the stand?” “I suttinly wuz, boss,” replied Uncle Gabe. “I kep’ wonderin’ whu wuz gwine happen ef dat w’ite genelman should ax me if dat lantern wuz lighted.” § 175 Sir Izaak Walton in Black