'Then I will take myself off whilst you do so. Ring the bell and send
for me as soon as you are ready. It is only half-past four; Emily will
have your letter in an hour, and surely will reply at once.'
The letter was written, at greater length perhaps than was quite
necessary, and Mrs. Baxendale speeded it on its way. Wilfrid begged that
he might be excused from attendance at the dinner-table.
'By all means,' was Mrs. Baxendale's reply. 'The more so that we have
politicians again, and I fear you would not be in the mood to make fun
of them as you did the other night.'
'Make fun of them? No, I was in earnest. I got interested in their
subjects, and found I had more to say than I thought.'
'Well, well; that is your politeness. Now lie down again, poor boy. But
you must promise to cat what I send you; we have quite enough illness on
our hands, remember.'
'I may have the answer before then,' Wilfrid said, moodily.
He had; it came in less than two hours from the messenger's departure.
He was alone when the servant brought it to him. Emily wrote:--
'Wilfrid,--The change is in myself, in my heart, in my life. Nothing
have I heard against you; nothing have I imagined against you; the
influence of which I spoke is in no way connected with you. Let this, I
implore you, be final. Forgive me, forgive me, that I seem to inflict
pain on you so heedlessly. I act as I must; my purpose is unchangeable.'
Having been apprised of the messenger's return, Mrs. Baxendale entered
Wilfrid's room as soon as she had dressed for dinner. He sat at the
table, the letter lying open before him. As Mrs. Baxendale approached,
he held the sheet to her.
'Then my last conjecture is fruitless,' she said, letting her hand fall.
'We cannot doubt her word.'
'Doubt it? No. There is nothing for me but to believe all she said.'
He let his face fall upon his hands; the bitterness of fate was entering
his inmost heart.
'No, no, you shall not give way,' said his friend, just touching his
fingers. 'It all looks very sad and hopeless, but I will not believe it
is hopeless. Refuse to believe that one worst thing, the only thing for
which there is no remedy. Come, defy yourself to believe it! You are
strong enough for that; there is manhood in you for anything that is
worth bearing, however hard.'
He could not reply to her encouragement; who cannot devise words of
exhortation? and what idler than such words when the heart agonises?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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