From the first he talked freely with Beatrice of his projects; he even
exaggerated to her the cynicism with which he framed and pursued them.
He could never have talked in this way to Emily. With Beatrice the tone
did not injure him in the least, partly because she did not take it
altogether seriously, yet more owing to the habit of mind whereby women
in general subordinate principle to the practical welfare of the
individual. If Wilfrid found a sphere for the display of his talents,
Beatrice eared nothing to dwell upon abstract points. Politics were a
recognised profession for gentlemen, and offered brilliant prizes; that
was enough. She was pleased, on the whole, that his line should be one
of moderation; it was socially advantageous; it made things pleasant
with friends of the most various opinions. That Wilfrid took her into
his confidence was to her a great happiness. In secret she felt it would
be the beginning of closer intimacy, of things which women--heaven be
praised!--esteem of vastly more importance than intellectual convictions
or the interest of party.
But it was long, very long, before Wilfrid could bring himself to pass
the line which separates friendship from lovemaking. Of passion his
nature had no lack, but it seemed to be absorbed in memory; he shrank
from the thought of using to another those words he had spoken to Emily.
One of the points of intense secret sympathy between Emily and himself
was this chastity of temperament. Constitutionally incapable of vice, he
held in repugnance even that degree of materialism in the view of sexual
relations which is common to men who have grown their beards. Not only
had a coarse word never passed his lips; he intensely disliked the
frivolous way of discussing subjects which to him were more sacred than
any other. When he had decided with himself that it was his destiny to
wed Beatrice, he had a positive fear of taking this step from which
there would be no return. Before he could do so, he must have utterly
broken with the past, and how could that ever be I He had not even
moments of coldness in his thought of Emily; it was beyond his power to
foresee the day when she would have become to him a mere symbol of
something that was. Suppose that some day, when married, he again met
her? In spite of everything, he did not believe that she had ceased to
love him; somewhere she still kept her faith, martyred by the
incomprehensible fate which had torn her from his arms. To meet her
again would be to forget every tie save that holiest which made one of
his spirit and of hers.
One day--it was during the second season which Mrs. Baxendale passed in
London--he went to his friend and asked her where Emily was. Mrs.
Baxendale was too quick for him; Wilfrid thought he had put his question
unexpectedly, but the lady was ready for such a question at any moment,
and she replied, with appearance of absolute sincerity, that she had no
knowledge of Emily's place of abode.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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