One time Dock 'nd Lem Thompson drove over to Knoxville to help Dock
Parsons cut a man's leg off. About four miles out uv town 'nd right in
the middle uv the hot peraroor they met Moses Baker's oldest boy
trudgin' along with a basket uf eggs. The Dock whoaed his hoss 'nd
called to the boy,--
"Where be you goin' with them eggs?" says he.
"Goin' to town to sell 'em," says the boy.
"How much a dozen?" asked the Dock.
"'Bout ten cents, I reckon," says the boy.
"Putty likely-lookin' eggs," says the Dock; 'nd he handed the lines over
to Lem, 'nd got out'n the buggy.
"How many hev you got?" he asked.
"Ten dozen," says the boy.
"Git out!" says Dock. "There haint no ten dozen eggs in that basket!"
"Yes, there is," says the boy, "fur I counted 'em myself."
The Dock allowed that he wuzn't goin' to take nobody's count on eggs; so
he got that fool boy to stan' there in the middle uv that hot peraroor,
claspin' his two hands together, while he, the Dock, counted them eggs
out'n the basket one by one into the boy's arms. Ten dozen eggs is a
heap; you kin imagine, maybe, how that boy looked with his arms full uv
eggs! When the Dock had got about nine dozen counted out he stopped all
uv a suddint 'nd said, "Wall, come to think on 't, I reckon I don't want
no eggs to-day, but I'm jest as much obleeged to you fur yer trouble."
And so he jumped back into the buggy 'nd drove off.
Now, maybe that fool boy wuzn't in a peck uv trubble! There he stood in
the middle uv that hot--that all-fired hot--peraroor with his arms full
uv eggs. What wuz there fur him to do? He wuz afraid to move, lest he
should break them eggs; yet the longer he stood there the less chance
there wuz of the warm weather improvin' the eggs.
Along in the summer of '78 the fever broke out down South, 'nd one day
Dock made up his mind that as bizness wuzn't none too good at home he'd
go down South 'nd see what he could do there. That wuz jest like one of
Dock's fool notions, we all said. But he went. In about six weeks along
come a telegraph sayin' that Dock wuz dead,--he'd died uv the fever. The
minister went up to the homestead 'nd broke the news gentle like to
Dock's mother; but, bless you! she didn't believe it--she wouldn't
believe it. She said it wuz one uv Dock's jokes; she didn't blame him,
nuther--it wuz _her_ fault, she allowed, that Dock wuz allus that way
about makin' fun uv life 'nd death. No, sir; she never believed that
Dock wuz dead, but she allus talked like he might come in any minnit;
and there wuz allus his old place set fur him at the table 'nd nuthin'
was disturbed in his little room upstairs. And so five years slipped by
'nd no Dock come back, 'nd there wuz no tidin's uv him. Uv course, the
rest uv us knew; but his mother--oh, no, _she_ never would believe it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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