Bildungsromans; Communities -- Juvenile fiction; First loves -- Juvenile fiction; Pittsburgh (Pa.) -- History -- Juvenile fiction
"Oh, you must not," she interrupted. "For I think you hardly like
me--you did not at first. And then, I--well--I do not mean to marry.
You know there was the----"
"Which simply has no weight in your life."
"But you see, I thought I loved him. Oh, I _did_ love him. And I was
so happy. Why, I would have gone to the end of the world with him!
Only when one deceives you, when one dares not tell the whole truth,
and when one cannot, does not want to give up wealth and station, what
was love is some way crushed out. But how could I tell if any new love
was the right thing? I might be mistaken again. And there are fickle
women in the world I have heard, who can love many times. I don't
desire to be one of them. Maybe it is only friendship I am fitted
for."
She was trembling in every pulse, though she had made such a brave
defence. And she seemed to him a hundred times sweeter than she ever
had before. He had much ado not to clasp her to his heart. "My dear
little Daffodil," he said with passionate tenderness, "though you have
been wooed and said marriage vows, you know nothing about a true and
fervent love. That was not much beyond a child's fancy, and you have
overlived it, or you could not be so light-hearted. It is only a dream
in your life. And I will wait until the woman's soul in you wakes. But
I shall not let you go from my influence, I shall keep watch and ward,
and try to win you."
"No, no, I am not worth all that trouble. No, do not try," she
pleaded.
"I shall take your earlier advice. You said I must marry some charming
girl and bring her here. No other girl or woman could satisfy M. de
Ronville as well."
"Did I advise you to do that?" and she blushed daintily. "Well," and
there was a glint of mischief in her eyes, soft as they were, "once I
was offered to you, and you declined."
"Offered to me?" in surprise.
"When I was here before. It was in this very library. I was outside,
and when I knew who was meant I ran away."
"Oh, you were such a child then! And I was doing something that I have
always despised myself for. I knew a beautiful and fascinating woman,
who led me to believe she cared a great deal for me. And then she
laughed at my folly. I deserved it for my blindness. So you see, I too
had a rude awakening, and found that it was not love, but a mere sham.
I believe for a month or so I have been trying _not_ to love you,
shutting my eyes to a longing that stirred all my nature. And now that
I have admitted it, it has taken a giant's growth in a few hours. I
will wait until you can give me the true, sincere regard of your soul.
But I could not let you go until I had settled whether I had any
ground for hope. Shall we be friends, dear and fond friends, until
that time? But I want to be loved sincerely, deeply."
She stood like a lovely culprit before him, and then he did enfold her
in his arms, and pressed his lips against her blushing cheek.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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