Bildungsromans; First loves -- Juvenile fiction; Saint Louis (Mo.) -- History -- Juvenile fiction
Still Wawataysee looked doubtfully at her. She tried to be more cheerful
that evening, and Uncle Gaspard smiled and called her his little girl.
Would he always love her? She dared not ask him now. When she had
sorrowed for him in his long absence it had been a comfort to go up to
the little church and pray. But would it not be monstrous to ask God to
keep Uncle Denys from loving Barbe? She was lovely and kind, and merry
too, for that matter, and if Uncle Denys——
Ah, there was the sting!
There crept into her heart a curious dull ache, a sense of something she
did not like, that she shrank from, just as one shuts one’s eyes to some
unpleasant sight. And this time it was not Barbe. Some one nearer,
one that she was answerable for, and she did not like the half
consciousness. She had believed the sorrow all hers. What if it was
wrong to cherish it and make it another’s sorrow?
She went up to the church one afternoon. There was no one about. The
confessional stood open. She thought she would pray, and then she
recalled a sentence, “Clean hands and a pure heart.” Was her heart pure,
not desiring what might belong to another? And if she snatched at it
with over-eager hands and a selfish heart?
She went out quietly and sat on the grass. The soft wind just stirred
the trees and brought wafts of perfume and the distant sound of the
voices of children at play. The sun was casting long shadows and
burnishing the tree-tops out on the fields. A few insects were lazily
droning.
A figure came out in the rusty black cassock with the cord around the
waist, and the little round cap, where a few straggling locks, much
threaded with white, fell below in a half-curling fashion. He glanced
her way, then came over to her and she rose with a reverent obeisance.
“It is Ma’m’selle de Longueville. You were little Renée. I remember when
you used to come and pray for your uncle that he might be returned in
safety. Is there nothing left to pray for?”
The tone was wonderfully sweet, and the eyes gave her such a kindly,
tender glance that her heart melted within her.
“I went in the church,” she began in a low tone. “I was troubled about
something. I could not find the right prayer. There may be a need before
the prayer,” and her voice trembled like a quivering note of music.
“Then let us go in and find it, daughter,” and he took her hand in his
and gently led her back. She knelt in silence. The kindly hands were
folded on her head in blessing.
What was it she wanted to say? “If one so coveted a love that it brought
unhappiness if it was shared with any one else; if one had been first
for years, and found another in the place, and then—” The sorrowful
voice broke. It was flooded with tears and soft sobs.
“Is it a lover that has cast longing eyes on another?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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