A Little Journey in the WorldWarner, Charles Dudley
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A Little Journey in the World
Warner, Charles Dudley
American fiction -- 19th century
Why protract the story of how Margaret was lost to us? Could this
interest any but us--we who felt the loss because we still loved her?
And why should we presume to set up our standard of what is valuable in
life, of what is a successful career? She had not become what we hoped,
and little by little all the pleasure of intercourse on both sides, I
dare say, disappeared. Could we say that life, after all, had not given
her what she most desired? Rather than write on in this strain about
her, I would like to read her story as it appeared to the companions
whose pleasures were her pleasures, whose successes were her
successes--her story written by one who appreciated her worldly
advantages, and saw all the delight there was in this attractive
worldliness.
What comfort there was in it we had in knowing that she was a favorite
in the society of which we read such glowing descriptions, and that no
one else bore its honors more winningly. It was not an easy life, with
all its exactions and incessant movement. It demanded more physical
strength than most women possess, and we were not surprised to hear from
time to time that she was delicate, and that she went through her season
with feverish excitement. But she chose it; it had become necessary to
her. Can women stop in such a career, even if they wish to stop?
Yes, she chose it. I, for one, never begrudged her any pleasure she had
in life, and I do not know but she was as happy as it is possible for
human being to be in a full experiment of worldliness. Who is the judge?
But we, I say, who loved her, and knew so well the noble possibilities
of her royal nature under circumstances favorable to its development,
felt more and more her departure from her own ideals. Her life in its
spreading prosperity seemed more and more shallow. I do not say she was
heartless, I do not say she was uncharitable, I do not say that in all
the externals of worldly and religious observance she was wanting; I do
not say that the more she was assimilated to the serenely worldly nature
of her husband she did not love him, or that she was unlovely in the
worldliness that ingulfed her and bore her onward. I do not know that
there is anything singular in her history. But the pain of it to us was
in the certainty--and it seemed so near--that in the decay of her higher
life, in the hardening process of a material existence, in the transfer
of all her interests to the trivial and sensuous gratifications--time,
mind, heart, ambition, all fixed on them--we should never regain our
Margaret. What I saw in a vision of her future was a dead soul--a
beautiful woman in all the success of envied prosperity, with a dead
soul.
XXII
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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