"You see the place is so damp, sir," Mr Purkis said to Jared; "and it's not in my constitooshun to let a woman like that Mrs Ruggles go about and grin like a dog in the city, and sneer because there's a speck on the ornyments, and then pretend that she's so ashamed of their state that she's obliged to polish them up herself. But they're a mortal trouble to keep bright--they're as hard to keep bright as a man's conscience, sir; they tarnish like gold lace, although I've tried everything I know of, beginning with sand-paper, sir, and going down to Bath bricks and emery powder. Do you know, sir," he said, mysteriously, "it goes agen me to speak of her, she being, as it were, one of us; but, sir, it's my belief as she damps and moistens the steel on the sly, or spits upon them, o' purpose to aggravate my spirit and make the things rust. In fack, I caught her agen one, about a week ago. Every respect to you, sir, but I wish now as Mrs Purkis had took the post, sir; for Mrs Ruggles makes herself very okkard, and altogether she's a woman as Mrs Purkis don't like, and I can assure you as a fack that when my missus takes a dislike to any one, that person ain't worth much. "You see, sir, she's a dry sort of a woman, and very hard; and if she was my wife, I should never expect as there'd be any gravy with the meat for dinner. That's one of the great differences in wives, sir. Ruggles wouldn't never have been so full of wrinkles and furrers in his face if he'd had plenty of gravy. Look at me, sir; I'm a hearty man, work hard, and do a rattling good business in boots and shoes, princip'lly ready-mades. I weigh seventeen stone, and I'm pretty happy, sir; and what's the reason? Gravy, sir, gravy! You never sit down to our table without seeing plenty of gravy on it. Even when it's cold-meat day, sir, there's always a little saved in a tea-cup to eat with your potatoes. My wife was a cook, you know, sir, when I married her, and she well knows the vally of gravy. She won my heart with it, sir, and keeps it too. It's the real milk, of human kindness. You never knew a woman who loved gravy, and liked to see others enjoy it, leather a child as that woman leathers that child of their'n. Ruggles thinks she's a wonder, and of course it would be a sin to undeceive him; but I'm pretty sure of one thing, and that is, that there's never any gravy to speak of on Ruggles' table." And after his long speech, Mr Purkis, who had just come home very moist and oozy from the church, after having a good polish at the poor-boxes, handed Jared the church keys for him to go and practise.