'What am I worrying about after all?' he thought, on waking next
morning, and finding that he was still a prey to his painful feelings.
'That she was in a good temper last night? I must be very selfish to
reproach her with that! That Baron Desforges was in her box when she had
told me that she was going to the theatre with her husband alone? She
will explain that next time I see her. That her husband's face was not
in keeping with his character? Appearances are so deceptive! How
thoroughly have I been deceived in Claude Larcher, with his wheedling
ways and his frank face! How often has he done me a favour and then
pretended he had forgotten it, and yet how basely he has betrayed me
after all!'
All the cruel impressions he had experienced on the preceding evening
were now concentrated in a fresh and more furious fit of resentment
against the man who, by his wicked gossip, had been the primary cause of
his trouble. In the excess of his unjust anger René ignored the
unquestionable merits of his friend and protector--absolute
disinterestedness, a devotion that hoped for no return, and a total lack
of literary envy. He was not even charitable enough to admit that Claude
might have spoken to Colette unthinkingly and incautiously, but without
any treacherous intentions. Suzanne's lover felt that he could not
remain the friend of a man who had gone so far as to say what Larcher
had said of his mistress. That is what René kept repeating to himself
the whole day. On his return from the Bibliothèque, where he had found
it almost impossible to work, he sat down to his table to write this
villain one of those letters that are not easily forgotten. Having
finished it, he read it over. The terms in which he defended Madame
Moraines proclaimed his love, and now more than ever did he wish to keep
that a secret from Claude.
'What is the use of writing to him at all?' he thought; 'when he comes
back I will tell him what I think of him--that is much better.'
He was just about to destroy this dangerous letter when Emilie came in,
as she often did before dinner, to ask him how he was getting on with
his work. With a woman's innate curiosity, she read the address on the
envelope, and said, 'Oh! is Claude in Venice? Then you've heard from
him!'
'Never utter that name before me again!'replied René, tearing up the
letter in a kind of cool rage.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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