He had spoken with the concentrated energy of a man who has sworn to
carry out what he has in his mind. Mad as the proposal seemed in the
eyes of a woman accustomed only to such forms of passion as are
compatible with the laws and usages of social life, Suzanne did not
hesitate for a moment. René had spoken in all sincerity, but in doing
so had given proofs of such deep-rooted affection that she had no doubt
as to her final triumph over the rebellious and mad schemes of the poet.
'How good you are to talk to me like that!' she replied with a thrill of
joy. 'How you love me! How you love me!' In uttering these words she
hung her head a little, as if the happiness brought her by these proofs
were almost too much to bear. 'God! how sweet this is!' she murmured.
Then, approaching him once more, she took his hand, almost timidly this
time, and held it tightly clasped in her own.
'Child that you are, what is it you offer me? If it were only a question
touching myself, how gladly I would say, "Take all my life," and deserve
little praise for doing so! But how can I accept the sacrifice of yours?
You are twenty-five years old and I am more than thirty. Close your
eyes, and look at us in ten years' time. I shall be an old woman, whilst
you will still be a young man. What then? And what about your work--that
art to which you are so attached that it makes me quite jealous? Why
should I hide it from you now? You must be in Paris to be able to write.
I should see you pining away beside me. I should see you, an unwilling
slave, bestowing affection upon me out of pity and from a sense of duty.
No--I could not bear it! My love, lay aside this mad plan and say that
you forgive me without it--say it, René, I implore you!'
Whilst speaking she had nestled closer to the poet, and now hung her
arms about his neck, seeking his lips with hers. An intense desire to
fold her in his arms came over him, but it was drowned in the disgust he
felt at her lasciviousness.
Seizing her by the wrist, he flung her from him, shouting in his fury,
'Then you refuse to come--tell me once more you refuse to come!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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