Adultery -- Fiction; French fiction -- 19th century
The mystic effusion then returned: "On earth? Can there be then another
world whereof this is but the symbol or the preparation? But how can any
link subsist between this and that? How can any help come in hours of
distress? Ah! if He were a heavenly Father, would not all suffering be
in his sight a prayer?"
Through the tumult of all these contradictory thoughts, the unhappy man
perceived that grand, unique problem of human life which religion alone
can solve, that of knowing whether beyond our limited days, our brief
sensations, our fleeting actions, there be something which does not pass
away, and which can satisfy our hunger and thirst for the infinite.
Armand was perhaps to become religious again some day; at the present
moment he was not so, and he answered himself:
"If there be nothing, why this terrible remorse? If there be something,
why am I unable either to conceive it with my intellect or to feel it
with my heart? How can I put an end to this unbearable anguish? How
raise the weight that is stifling me?"
The principal incidents during these gloomy days were some letters from
Alfred, filled with affection and with complaints about his wife's
health, the sadness of his home, his anxieties for the future. Helen
therefore continued to be unhappy.
"Ah!" thought Armand, "it is possible that the words 'good' and 'evil,'
'soul' and 'God,' have no kind of meaning. For thousands of years
philosophers have been disputing inconclusively about them, and
religions have been succeeding to one another and crumbling away. I have
measured the impotence of reason and I have not faith. But there is need
neither of reason nor of faith to know whether human misery exists, and
to know that we ought to do everything to avoid being the cause of this
misery."
We ought! As though we were free! But free or not, let us be sensible of
this misery and pity it! When the young man entered upon the new path of
pity, he experienced, not absolute relief from his remorse, but a sort
of despairing tenderness which at last moistened his heart. He pictured
Helen to himself when quite a little girl in a past such as her
confidences had revealed to him, and he pitied her for her sad childhood
and her oppressed youth. He pitied her for her marriage and for the
moral divorce which had separated her from Alfred. He pitied her for
having known himself, Armand, for the words that he had uttered to her
and which she had believed, for the kisses which he had asked of her and
which she had given him. But especially for that second fall, for that
frenzy which had thrown her into the arms of Varades did he passionately
pity her, and for all the errors into which this first error would draw
her. He pitied her for her birth, for her existence, for her subjection
to an unconquerable fate!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account