France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Women -- Psychology -- Fiction
Yes, it was true; Hélène was widely opening the portals of her heart to
pious thoughts. Never could she have fancied that such happiness would
attend her love. She returned to the church as to a spot where her
heart would melt, for under its roof she could give free vent to her
tears, remain thoughtless, plunged in speechless worship. For an hour
each evening she put no restraint on herself. The bursting love within
her, prisoned throughout the day, at length escaped from her bosom on
the wings of prayer, amidst the pious quiver of the throng. The
muttered supplications, the bendings of the knee, the reverences—words
and gestures seemingly interminable—all lulled her to rest; to her they
ever expressed the same thing; it was always the same passion speaking
in the same phrase, or the same gesture. She felt a need of faith, and
basked enraptured by the Divine goodness.
Hélène was not the only person whom Juliette twitted; she feigned a
belief that Henri himself was becoming religious. What, had he not now
entered the church to wait for them?—he, atheist and scoffer, who had
been wont to assert that he had sought for the soul with his scalpel,
and had not yet discovered its existence! As soon as she perceived him
standing behind a pillar in the shadow of the pulpit, she would
instantly jog Hélène’s arm.
“Look, look, he is there already! Do you know, he wouldn’t confess when
we got married! See how funny he looks; he gazes at us with so comical
an expression; quick, look!”
Hélène did not at the moment raise her head. The service was coming to
an end, clouds of incense were rising, and the organ-music pealed forth
joyfully. But her neighbor was not a woman to leave her alone, and she
was forced to speak in answer.
“Yes, yes, I see him,” she whispered, albeit she never turned her eyes.
She had on her own side divined his presence amidst the song of praise
that mounted from the worshipping throng. It seemed to her that Henri’s
breath was wafted on the wings of the music and beat against her neck,
and she imagined she could see behind her his glances shedding their
light along the nave and haloing her, as she knelt, with a golden
glory. And then she felt impelled to pray with such fervor that words
failed her. The expression on his face was sober, as unruffled as any
husband might wear when looking for ladies in a church, the same,
indeed, as if he had been waiting for them in the lobby of a theatre.
But when they came together, in the midst of the slowly-moving crowd of
worshippers, they felt that the bonds of their love had been drawn
closer by the flowers and the chanting; and they shunned all
conversation, for their hearts were on their lips.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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