France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Women -- Psychology -- Fiction
“Mamma, mamma!” she cried; “she made me say an _Ave_; she says it will
bring you good luck.”
The three then turned into the Rue Vineuse, while Mother Fétu crept
down the steps of the Passage des Eaux, busy completing her rosary.
The month slipped away. Two or three more services were attended by
Madame Deberle. One Sunday, the last one, Henri once more ventured to
wait for Hélène and Jeanne. The walk home thrilled them with joy. The
month had been one long spell of wondrous bliss. The little church
seemed to have entered into their lives to soothe their love and render
its way pleasant. At first a great peace had settled on Hélène’s soul;
she had found happiness in this sanctuary where she imagined she could
without shame dwell on her love; however, the undermining had
continued, and when her holy rapture passed away she was again in the
grip of her passion, held by bonds that would have plucked at her
heartstrings had she sought to break them asunder. Henri still
preserved his respectful demeanor, but she could not do otherwise than
see the passion burning in his face. She dreaded some outburst, and
even grew afraid of herself.
One afternoon, going homewards after a walk with Jeanne, she passed
along the Rue de l’Annonciation and entered the church. The child was
complaining of feeling very tired. Until the last day she had been
unwilling to admit that the evening services exhausted her, so intense
was the pleasure she derived from them; but her cheeks had grown
waxy-pale, and the doctor advised that she should take long walks.
“Sit down here,” said her mother. “It will rest you; we’ll only stay
ten minutes.”
She herself walked towards some chairs a short way off, and knelt down.
She had placed Jeanne close to a pillar. Workmen were busy at the other
end of the nave, taking down the hangings and removing the flowers, the
ceremonials attending the month of Mary having come to an end the
evening before. With her face buried in her hands Hélène saw nothing
and heard nothing; she was eagerly catechising her heart, asking
whether she ought not to confess to Abbé Jouve what an awful life had
come upon her. He would advise her, perhaps restore her lost peace.
Still, within her there arose, out of her very anguish, a fierce flood
of joy. She hugged her sorrow, dreading lest the priest might succeed
in finding a cure for it. Ten minutes slipped away, then an hour. She
was overwhelmed by the strife raging within her heart.
At last she raised her head, her eyes glistening with tears, and saw
Abbé Jouve gazing at her sorrowfully. It was he who was directing the
workmen. Having recognized Jeanne, he had just come forward.
“Why, what is the matter, my child?” he asked of Hélène, who hastened
to rise to her feet and wipe away her tears.
She was at a loss what answer to give; she was afraid lest she should
once more fall on her knees and burst into sobs. He approached still
nearer, and gently resumed:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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