France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Women -- Psychology -- Fiction
Jeanne, with her sleeves soaked, was seized with a fit of coughing. But
she was unconscious of the chill that was penetrating her; she was now
absorbed in the thought that her mother had gone into Paris. She had
come at last to know three buildings—the Invalides, the Panthéon, and
the Tower of St.-Jacques. She now slowly went over their names, and
pointed them out with her finger without attempting to think what they
might be like were she nearer to them. Without doubt, however, her
mother was down there; and she settled in her mind that she was in the
Panthéon, because it astonished her the most, huge as it was, towering
up through the air, like the city’s head-piece. Then she began to
question herself. Paris was still to her the place where children never
go; she was never taken there. She would have liked to know it,
however, that she might have quietly said to herself: “Mamma is there;
she is doing such and such a thing.” But it all seemed to her too
immense; it was impossible to find any one there. Then her glance
travelled towards the other end of the plain. Might her mother not
rather be in one of that cluster of houses on the hill to the left? or
nearer in, beneath those huge trees, whose bare branches seemed as dead
as firewood? Oh! if she could only have lifted up the roofs! What could
that gloomy edifice be? What was that street along which something of
enormous bulk seemed to be running? And what could that district be at
sight of which she always felt frightened, convinced as she was that
people fought one another there? She could not see it distinctly, but,
to tell the truth, its aspects stirred one; it was very ugly, and must
not be looked at by little girls.
A host of indefinable ideas and suppositions, which brought her to the
verge of weeping, awoke trouble in Jeanne’s ignorant, childish mind.
From the unknown world of Paris, with its smoke, its endless noises,
its powerful, surging life, an odor of wretchedness, filth, and crime
seemed to be wafted to her through the mild, humid atmosphere, and she
was forced to avert her head, as though she had been leaning over one
of those pestilential pits which breathe forth suffocation from their
unseen horrors. The Invalides, the Panthéon, the Tower of
Saint-Jacques—these she named and counted; but she knew nothing of
anything else, and she sat there, terrified and ashamed, with the
all-absorbing thought that her mother was among those wicked places, at
some spot which she was unable to identify in the depths yonder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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