France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; Women -- Psychology -- Fiction
This was one of Jeanne’s last whims. She lapsed into a dull stupor,
from which nothing could rouse her. She lay there in utter loneliness,
unconscious even of her mother’s presence. When Hélène hung over the
bed seeking her eyes, the child preserved a stolid expression, as
though only the shadow of the curtain had passed before her. Her lips
were dumb; she showed the gloomy resignation of the outcast who knows
that she is dying. Sometimes she would long remain with her eyelids
half closed, and nobody could divine what stubborn thought was thus
absorbing her. Nothing now had any existence for her save her big doll,
which lay beside her. They had given it to her one night to divert her
during her insufferable anguish, and she refused to give it back,
defending it with fierce gestures the moment they attempted to take it
from her. With its pasteboard head resting on the bolster, the doll was
stretched out like an invalid, covered up to the shoulders by the
counterpane. There was little doubt the child was nursing it, for her
burning hands would, from time to time, feel its disjointed limbs of
flesh-tinted leather, whence all the sawdust had exuded. For hours her
eyes would never stray from those enamel ones which were always fixed,
or from those white teeth wreathed in an everlasting smile. She would
suddenly grow affectionate, clasp the doll’s hands against her bosom
and press her cheek against its little head of hair, the caressing
contact of which seemed to give her some relief. Thus she sought
comfort in her affection for her big doll, always assuring herself of
its presence when she awoke from a doze, seeing nothing else, chatting
with it, and at times summoning to her face the shadow of a smile, as
though she had heard it whispering something in her ear.
The third week was dragging to an end. One morning the old doctor came
and remained. Hélène understood him: her child would not live through
the day. Since the previous evening she had been in a stupor that
deprived her of the consciousness even of her own actions. There was no
longer any struggle with death; it was but a question of hours. As the
dying child was consumed by an awful thirst, the doctor had merely
recommended that she should be given some opiate beverage, which would
render her passing less painful; and the relinquishing of all attempts
at cure reduced Hélène to a state of imbecility. So long as the
medicines had littered the night-table she still had entertained hopes
of a miraculous recovery. But now bottles and boxes had vanished, and
her last trust was gone. One instinct only inspired her now—to be near
Jeanne, never leave her, gaze at her unceasingly. The doctor, wishing
to distract her attention from the terrible sight, strove, by assigning
some little duties to her, to keep her at a distance. But she ever and
ever returned, drawn to the bedside by the physical craving to see. She
waited, standing erect, her arms hanging beside her, and her face
swollen by despair.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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