"No!" she said.
He did not reply, because he could not comprehend. He looked at her,
astonished, and she broke forth recklessly:
"I love you so, Grant! I love you so! I want you, just you, and no
one else. Are we not happy as we are? Are you not satisfied with me,
just me? You are like all men! You are selfish! You--oh, love! You
love me so--I know that--but you think of me--it seems so, anyhow--as
but part of a scheme of life, of the life which will make you happy.
My love, my husband! why need it be that way? Why am I not enough?
Why may we not be one, just one, and be that way? I want nothing more.
Why should you? Are we not all our own world? I will be everything to
you. Oh, Grant!" And she ceased, sobbingly.
The man said nothing. He could not understand at first; then came upon
him, gradually, a comprehension of how different had been their dreams
in some ways. It was inexplicable. He thought of the mother instinct
which gives even to the little girl a doll. He had supposed that his
own fancies were but weak reflections of what was in the innermost
heart of the woman he loved so. He blurted out, almost roughly:
"'Portia is Brutus' harlot, not his wife.'" Then added, bitterly, "It
is the man who is saying it this time, you see."
A second later, shame-faced and repentant, he had caught the slender
figure in his arms and was holding it close to him.
"I'm a brute, dear," he said, "and there is no excuse for me. I
understand, I think. We dreamed differently. That was all. Had you
loved me less, dear heart, you would have been more like other women.
But it doesn't matter. It shall be as you say, as you may wish or
fancy. We thought unlike, yet you were as much the pivot of my thought
as I of yours. It was of you, for you, and because of you, I had my
visions. That is all. And we will not talk more of it."
She nestled closer to him, and he stroked the brown mass of her hair
and remained silent. Some moments passed that way. Then she roused
herself and sat up squarely, and looked him bravely in the face.
"I have been thinking," she said, "and I can think very well when I am
so close to you, with my head where it is now. I have been thinking,
and it has occurred to me that I was not a wise, good woman, and I want
you to forgive me."
His answer involved no words at all, but it was meet for every purpose.
She pushed him away from her, and spoke gravely:
"Will you do something for me, Grant?"
"Yes."
"Will you do it now?"
"Yes--if it be good for you."
"I want you to do this. I want you to imagine me some one else, some
one you regard, but for whom you do not care particularly. And then I
want you to tell me what you think, what you would think best about
the--'the others'"--blushing more fairly than any rose that ever grew
on stem. "Will you do that?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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