England -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction
Once, in late boyhood, he had sat for an examination which he felt
confident of passing. When the announcement arrived that he failed, he
could not believe it, though all the time he knew it to be true. His
thoughts ran monotonously: "There must be some mistake; there must be
some mistake!" and like a little child in the night, he resolutely shut
his eyes to keep out the darkness of the future. The same puerility
marked him now. Assuming that Adeline fulfilled her intention, his
existence in London promised to be tragically cheerless. But this
gave him no immediate concern, because he refused to contemplate the
possibility of their intimacy being severed. He had, indeed, ceased
to think; somewhere at the back of the brain his thoughts lay in wait
for him. For the next two hours (until he left the house) he lived
mechanically, as it were, and not by volition, subsisting merely on a
previously acquired momentum.
He sat in front of her and listened. She began to talk of her uncles
Mark and Luke. She described them in detail, told stories of her
childhood, even recounted the common incidents of her daily life with
them. She dwelt on their kindness of heart, and their affection for
herself; and with it all she seemed a little to patronise them, as
though she had been accustomed to regard them as her slaves.
"They are rather old-fashioned," she said, "unless they have altered.
Since I heard from them, I have been wondering what they would think
about my going to theatres and so on--with you."
"What should they think?" Richard broke in. "There's nothing whatever
in that. London isn't a provincial town, or even an American city."
"I shall tell them all about you," she went on, "and how kind you were
to me when I scarcely knew you at all. You couldn't have been kinder if
you'd been my only cousin."
"Say 'brother,'" he laughed awkwardly.
"No, really, I'm quite serious. I never thanked you properly. Perhaps I
seemed to take it all as a matter of course."
He wished to heaven she would stop.
"I'm disgusted that you are going," he grumbled, putting his hands
behind his head,--"disgusted."
"In many ways I am sorry too. But don't you think I am doing the right
thing?"
"How am I to tell?" he returned quickly. "All I know is that when you
go I shall be left all alone by my little self. You must think of me
sometimes in my lonely garret." His tone was light and whimsical, but
she would not follow his lead.
"I shall often think of you," she said musingly, scanning intently the
toe of her shoe.
It seemed to him that she desired to say something serious, to justify
herself to him, but could not gather courage to frame the words.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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