Yorkshire (England) -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
The mistal door stood open to-night. Jose and the roan cow he was
milking showed vague at the far end of the byre; the honey-rich flavour
of kine mingled with the summer dusk within. The roan cow was more
patient than usual, and Jose, feeling himself in consequence at liberty
to take a little imaginative run, dropped his mumbled adjurations. His
voice grew distinct and earnest as he commenced a spirited duologue,
with one William Feather as second party, Jose acting as sponsor for
William in that individual's absence.
"Now, William, I've getten a grand beäst for sale. What mud tha be
after gieing?"
"Nay, I see nowt so mich i' her. Nay, I'm noan so set on naming a
price."
"Lad, tha'rt daft, letting sich a chance go by. She gi'es sixteen quart
a day, that she does--eight i' th' morn, an' eight at neet. She hesn't
a bad trick wi' her, an' milks quiet as a lamb. Now, come, William;
she's dirt cheap at twelve pun ten."
"Twelve pun ten, say'st 'a? What! for a ill-fettled beäst like yon?
Fiddle o' that tale! I'll gie thee nine pun, an' mak thee shut on a bad
bargain for old sake's sake."
"Nay, nay, I willun't tak a ha'penny less nor twelve pun. There's not
another like her i' Ling Crag--nay, nor for twenty mile round, nawther.
She's muck cheäp, I tell thee, at twelve pun. Only yestermorn Dick o'
Rag war here, an' he tried to beat me down to eleven pun; but I warn't
sich a softy, I warn't, an' I telled Dick he could tak her at twelve
pun ten or lump it, just as it suited him. I'll mak it twelve, though,
as it's thee, lad, an' that's more nor I'd do for Dick. He'll be back
to-morn, likely, wi' th' brass i' his pocket; an' a sorry chap tha'll
be, William, when tha sees thy bargain goan."
The argument went on briskly till Jose was nearly through with his last
pair of udders; William had certainly the lesser half of the talking
to do, but this was a pardonable human trait in old Binns. Finally, a
compromise was effected at ten pounds, and Jose Binns got up from his
stool. He smacked the roan cow's flanks, uttering the while a quiet
cackle of delight.
"Tha girt lanky bitch," cried he, "tha artn't worth seven pun, let
alone ten. Tha knows tha kicks th' pail ower ivery time ony but me
shapes to milk thee, an' oftens then; tha ho'ds thy milk; tha's as full
o' jade's tricks as a egg is full o' meät. Eh, lass! but William mun
ha' bin doiting when he gie ten pun for thee."
"Is that my cow you're selling, Jose?" asked the preacher, from the
doorway.
"Ay, I war doing part bargaining. I selled th' owd roän cow for ten
pun. Eh, it war grand--grand! He's noan what he war at a bargain, isn't
William."
Gabriel laughed, as one accustomed to these visionary sales.
"I want the trap to-morrow. See that it's well cleaned--spick and span
as you can make it."
"Isn't it allus well cleäned?" grumbled Jose, settling himself to the
last of the cows.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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