Then reflection forced upon him the possible answer that he might
have received. She might have coldly resented the impertinence of
such a speech, or she might have given him to understand that what
appeared true was really true--namely, that his cousin's splendid
offer was preferred to his poor one. Yes, he was no doubt a fool to
hold on to his belief in Bettina in face of the obvious facts. The
thing he had to do was to overcome it, and go on with his life and
career quite apart from her.
This would have been the easier to do but for one thing. He had
satisfied himself that Bettina had been unhappy in her marriage to
Lord Hurdly. It was evident that the worldly importance which it had
given her had not sufficed her needs. He knew--her own mother had
avowed it to him--that Bettina was ambitious; but he knew, what the
same source had also revealed, that she had a good and loving heart.
What he felt was that she had been taught by bitter experience the
emptiness of mere worldly gratification, and that poor heart of hers
was breaking in its loneliness.
But then came reason again, and pointed to the hard facts before his
eyes. What a fool he was to go on constructing a romantic theory
out of his own consciousness when Bettina, by definite choice and
decision, had proved herself to be, what he must compel himself to
consider her, both heartless and false!
Fortified by the bitter support of this conception of her, he left
the library, and, for the first time since his return, made the
complete tour of the house. Through most of the apartments he passed
swiftly enough, but in two of them he paused. The first was the long
picture-gallery, where he looked critically at his own boyish
portrait, wondering if Bettina had ever looked at it, and what
feelings it might have aroused, and then passed on and stood before
that most beautiful of all the Lady Hurdlys who had been or who might
ever be. But this was too demoralizing to that mood of hardness that
he had but recently assumed, and so he turned his back on the
gracious image and walked away.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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