France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Fiction
"Rosalie," he said, catching at his self-control,—"Rosalie told me—curse
him—curse him! Thank God you are safe. He cannot touch you now. What
is it, then, my dear?" and the voice that had cursed Hébert seemed to
caress her.
"If you know—that"—the word came on a shudder—"you know why I did—what I
did—yesterday. But no—I forget; no one knew it all, no one knew the
worst. I could n’t say it, but now I must—I must."
"My dear, leave it—leave it. Why should you say anything?"
But she took a long breath and went on, speaking very low, and
hurriedly, with bent head, and cheeks that flamed with a shamed, crimson
patch.
"He is a devil, I think; and when I said I would die, he said—oh, mon
Dieu!—he said his turn came first, he had friends, he could get me into
his power after I was condemned."
Dangeau’s arm went up—the arm with which he would have killed Hébert had
he stood before him—and then fell protectingly about her shoulders.
"Aline, let him go—don’t think of him again. You are safe—Death has
given you back to me." But she shrank away.
"Oh, Monsieur," she said, with a quick gasp, "it was not death that I
feared—indeed it was not death. I could have died, I should have died,
before I betrayed—everything—as I did yesterday. I should have died,
but there are some things too hard to bear. Oh, I do not think God can
expect a woman to bear—that!" Again the deep shudder shook her. "Then
you came, and I took the one way out, or let you take it."
"Aline!"
"No, no," she cried,—"no, no, you must understand—surely you understand
that there is too much between us—we can never be—never be—oh, don’t you
understand?"
Dangeau’s face hardened. The tenderness went out of it, and his eyes
were cold as steel. How cruelly she was stabbing him she did not know.
Her mind held dazed to its one idea. She had betrayed the honour of her
race, to save her own. That red river of which she had spoken long
months before, it lay between them still, only now she had stained her
very soul with it. But not for profit of safety, not for pleasure of
love, not even for life, bare life, but to escape the last, worst insult
life holds—insult of which it is no disgrace to be afraid. She must
make that clear to him, but it was so hard, so hard to find words, and
she was so tired, so bruised, she hungered so for peace. How easy to
yield, to take life’s sweetness with the bitterness, love’s promise with
love’s pain! But no, it were too base; the bitterness and the pain were
her portion. His part escaped her.
When he spoke his changed voice startled her ears.
"So it comes to this," he said, with a short, bitter laugh; "having to
choose between me and Hébert, you chose me. Had the choice lain between
me and death, you would have gone to the guillotine without soiling your
fingers by touching me."
She looked at him—a bewildered, frightened look.
Pain spurred him on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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