"I was the instrument that brought about the death of White, just as I shall be the instrument of my own death, but it was the original act conceived in the mind of White that started the train of events that led successively to both consequences. Had he been different in temperament, or had I, it might have been otherwise, but with the conditions as they existed, it was inevitable, and, after the initial step was once taken, it was better so. He was less unhappy when we saw him that morning after than he was when we left him the night before, and I shall be at peace when you see me again, as I have not been in many days. "No! I have never harbored remorse over White's death, and I indulge in no regrets now for my own. We have worked out, each of us, our own destiny, that is all; but with Winters, it was different. Poor fellow! he had a hard time, and though he was a worthless drunkard, he had no responsibility for the act which, in its consequences, shortened his life. He suffered innocently, and I might have spared him, and I did not. I was a coward in that and I despise a coward, but let that be. I might tell you that I had intended, should it have come to that, to have saved him from the gallows, but it is a weakness and an imposition to ask credit for what one claims one might have done, and it is a plea as available to a liar as to a truthful man. "Whatever I might have done, I was saved the occasion by Winters's death. With that my obligation ended. To have given my life for a reputation that was well buried with the man, would have been quixotic. It could have done him no good, and the world would not have cared. "I hardly know why I have written you all of this. Perhaps it may be because there comes to each of us, even the strongest, a wish at the end to extenuate, to explain. No man can entirely separate himself in his moral life from his fellows. No matter how vigorous his individuality, he can never escape the consciousness of their standard and their judgment, and he must be swayed by it more or less, even though he denies it for awhile to himself. "Such has been my case. Unknown to them, I have battled with my fellow-men; the struggle has been all with me and yet they have won, and at this last hour I cannot give up my place among them, even though it be for oblivion, without a wish to live unsullied in their memories. I have repudiated their laws and have established a law for myself, but in the end mine has failed me and theirs controls. It is not that my law is illogical or unethical, it is only that they will not accept it, and I cannot escape from theirs.