A Miscellany of MenChesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
General
A Miscellany of Men
Chesterton, G. K. (Gilbert Keith)
English essays -- 20th century
(1) Don't use a noun and then an adjective that crosses out the noun.
An adjective qualifies, it cannot contradict. Don't say, “Give me a
patriotism that is free from all boundaries.” It is like saying, “Give
me a pork pie with no pork in it.” Don't say, “I look forward to that
larger religion that shall have no special dogmas.” It is like saying,
“I look forward to that larger quadruped who shall have no feet.” A
quadruped means something with four feet; and a religion means something
that commits a man to some doctrine about the universe. Don't let
the meek substantive be absolutely murdered by the joyful, exuberant
adjective.
(2) Don't say you are not going to say a thing, and then say it. This
practice is very flourishing and successful with public speakers. The
trick consists of first repudiating a certain view in unfavourable
terms, and then repeating the same view in favourable terms. Perhaps the
simplest form of it may be found in a landlord of my neighbourhood, who
said to his tenants in an election speech, “Of course I'm not going to
threaten you, but if this Budget passes the rents will go up.” The thing
can be done in many forms besides this. “I am the last man to
mention party politics; but when I see the Empire rent in pieces by
irresponsible Radicals,” etc. “In this hall we welcome all creeds. We
have no hostility against any honest belief; but only against that black
priestcraft and superstition which can accept such a doctrine as,” etc.
“I would not say one word that could ruffle our relations with Germany.
But this I will say; that when I see ceaseless and unscrupulous
armament,” etc. Please don't do it. Decide to make a remark or not to
make a remark. But don't fancy that you have somehow softened the saying
of a thing by having just promised not to say it.
(3) Don't use secondary words as primary words. “Happiness” (let us say)
is a primary word. You know when you have the thing, and you jolly well
know when you haven't. “Progress” is a secondary word; it means the
degree of one's approach to happiness, or to some such solid ideal. But
modern controversies constantly turn on asking, “Does Happiness help
Progress?” Thus, I see in the New Age this week a letter from Mr.
Egerton Swann, in which he warns the world against me and my friend Mr.
Belloc, on the ground that our democracy is “spasmodic” (whatever that
means); while our “reactionism is settled and permanent.” It never
strikes Mr. Swann that democracy means something in itself; while
“reactionism” means nothing--except in connection with democracy.
You cannot react except from something. If Mr. Swann thinks I have ever
reacted from the doctrine that the people should rule, I wish he would
give me the reference.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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