“It is an excellent resolution,” said her friend, as she gazed
thoughtfully over the Shepherds’ Field to the distant hills. “Strange
that you should have to come all the way to Palestine to make it. I
believe there is something in this atmosphere which stirs us up to
spiritual action; I felt it directly we came to Jerusalem. You would not
think it to look at me, would you?—but I am as worried as I can possibly
be.”
The Princess looked up sharply, with an expression of surprise.
“Worried?” she repeated. “Why?”
Patricia pulled up the grass with nervous energy.
“I don’t know if I am wise to talk about it,” she rejoined slowly; “but
I think I can trust you, Olive. I said a little while ago that I was a
Jewess. The statement was false; I am not a Jewess.”
“No? Well, I never thought you were. What need is there to worry
yourself about that?”
“Ah, you do not understand.” She threw away the blade of grass, and
pressed her hands together. “I am living, spiritually, a double life,
deceiving others as well as myself. I thought at the time of my marriage
that it was quite easy to renounce Christianity; and indeed it was
then—my soul must have been in a comatose condition. But since I have
come to Jerusalem, all is changed. These sacred scenes have revived
within me the faith of my childhood; almost every stone reminds me of
the Master I have denied. It is impossible for one who has ever been a
Christian to gaze on the Holy City unmoved. Even you have come under the
influence of this wonderful place.”
“Yes, that is true. In London and New York one does not seem to have
time or the inclination to trouble oneself about religion, but here
Christianity is so very real. I understand your frame of mind exactly.
It was absurd to ever expect you to conform to Jewish law.”
“Lady Montella does expect me to conform to the Jewish law,” Patricia
continued seriously. “She is always impressing upon me that I have
become a Jewess, and until now I have constantly reminded myself of the
fact. Situated as he is, Lionel _must_ have a Jewish wife. That is why I
am so greatly troubled. I can no longer pretend to be what I am not.”
“But you must!” exclaimed the Princess forcibly. “Since you have married
a Jew, you must abide by the consequence. I believe I know your people
better than you know them yourself. It will never do for them to find
out that you have relapsed—that there is a heretic within the fold. You
must exercise tact and discretion: learn to be a diplomatist.”
“Learn to be a hypocrite, you mean. It will be a hard lesson! I am
afraid I shall never master it. After all, what does it matter to the
Montellas what I privately believe so long as I respect their Judaism?
Will it not be better to make a clean breast of it, and tell them at
once?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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