To return, however, to the more scientific aspects of the question, the
polarity of sex displays itself as conspicuously as that of the magnet in
the fundamental law of repulsion of like for like, and attraction of like
for unlike. In each case there must be an identity of essence developing
itself in opposite directions. Thus, atoms attract or repel atoms, but
not molecules; for if they seem to do so, it is only in cases in which
the molecule contains some atom whose atomicity or polar power has not
been fully satisfied. So currents of air or water do not affect electric
currents. But given the identity of substance, its differentiation takes
place under an ever-increasing progression of polarity of affinities and
repulsions.
A German naturalist, Brahm, discussing the question why birds sing, says,
‘the male finds in the female those desirable and attractive qualities
which are wanting in himself. He seeks the opposite to himself with
the force of a chemical element.’ This is equally true of the male and
female of the human species. A masculine woman and effeminate man are
equally unattractive, and if the qualities are pushed to an extreme
extent, the individuals become monstrosities, and, instead of attracting,
excite vehement disgust and repulsion. This, which is true physically,
is equally true of moral and intellectual characteristics. Each seeks,
in the happy marriage or perfect ideal union, the qualities which are
most deficient in themselves: the woman, strength, active courage, and
the harder qualities; the man, gentleness, amiability, and the softer
virtues. In each individual, as in each union of individuals, harmony
and perfection depend on the due balance of the opposite qualities, and
the ‘falsehood of extremes’ leads up to chaos and insanity. The man in
whom strength and hardihood are not tempered by gentleness and affection
becomes brutal and tyrannical; while the woman who has no strength of
character becomes silly and frivolous. Marriage, however, involves the
highest ideal, for the well-assorted union of the two in one gives a more
complete harmony and reconciliation of opposites than can be attained
by the single individual, who must always remain more or less within
the sphere of the polarity of his or her respective sex. But here also
the same law of polarity operates, for as happy marriage affords the
highest ideal, so do unhappy and ill-assorted unions involve the greatest
misery and most complete shipwreck of life. Especially to the woman, for
the man has other pursuits and occupations, and can to a great extent
withdraw himself from domestic troubles; while the woman has no defence
against the coarseness, selfishness, and vulgarity of the partner to
whom she is tied, and who may make her life a perpetual purgatory, and
drag all her finer intellectual and moral nature down to a lower level.
Fortunately extreme cases are rare, and, though the ideal of a perfect
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