A moment of madness, and other stories (vol. 3 of 3)Marryat, Florence
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A moment of madness, and other stories (vol. 3 of 3)
Marryat, Florence
English fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, English
‘God bless you!’ was all he answered.
If I had not been such a child I should have echoed the words; for before
many days were over my head, the whole of my joyous young life was an
unuttered blessing upon her. The darkness of fear and despondency—the
most unnatural feelings a young child can entertain—had all passed
away. I no longer dreaded my father’s presence; on the contrary, it was
my greatest treat to bear him company as he worked in the garden, or
whistled over his carpentering, or accompanied my mother in strolls about
the country.
He never shut himself up in his room now, unless she was shut in too;
and although his new-born love was for _her_, and not for me, the glory
of it was reflected in his treatment of me.
So I was very happy, and so was he, and so most people would have thought
my mother to be. But though she never appeared before my father without
a bright face, she was not always so careful in my presence, thinking
me, perhaps, too young to observe the changes in her countenance;
and sometimes when she and I were alone together, I marked the same
look steal over her which I had observed on the occasion of our first
meeting—an undercurrent of thoughtful sadness—the look of one who had
suffered, who still suffered, from a pain which she kept to herself.
Once I surprised her in tears—a violent storm of tears, which she was
powerless for some time to control; and I eagerly inquired the reason of
them.
‘Mamma, mamma, what is it, mamma? Have you hurt your foot? Did Prince
bite you? Have you got a pain anywhere?’
My childish mind could not comprehend that her tears should flow for any
other than a physical reason. Did not papa and I love her dearly? and she
was afraid of no one, and she never went to school. What possible cause
could she have for tears?
My mother composed herself as soon as she was able, and laid her burning
face against my cheek.
‘Will my little boy love me always?’ she asked—‘always—always—whatever
happens?’
‘Always, dear mamma. Papa and I would die if we hadn’t you. Oh, you don’t
know what it was like before you came here!’
‘Then mamma will never again be so silly as to cry,’ said my mother, as
she busied herself over some occupation to divert her thoughts.
But although this was the only time she betrayed herself so openly before
me, I often detected the trace of weeping on her face, which she would
try to disguise by excessive mirth.
So the years went on, until one bright summer’s day a little sister was
born in our house. I hailed the advent of this infant with the greatest
possible delight. It was such a new wonderful experience to have a
playmate so dependent on me, and yet so entirely my own. I positively
worshipped my little sister, although her birth was the signal for my
being sent back to school, but this time only as a weekly boarder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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