He drew her down upon the sofa. She felt him, kneeling at her feet, his
hands, clumsy with impatience, gliding over her, and she suffered his
attempts, inert, discouraged, foreseeing that it was useless. Her ears
were ringing like a little bell. The ringing ceased, and she heard; on
her right, a strange, clear, glacial voice say. "I forbid you to belong
to one another." It seemed to her that the voice spoke from above, in
the glow of light, but she did not dare to turn her head. It was an
unfamiliar voice. Involuntarily and despite herself she tried to
remember his voice, and she realized that she had forgotten its sound,
and that she could never again remember it. The thought came to her
"Perhaps this is the voice he has now." Terrified, she swiftly pushed
her skirt over her knees. But she refrained from crying out, and she did
not speak of what she had just heard, lest she should be taken for a
madwoman, and because she realized somehow that it was not real.
Ligny drew away from her.
"If you don't want anything more to do with me, say so honestly. I am
not going to take you by force."
Sitting upright, with her knees pressed together, she told him:
"Whenever we are in a crowd, as long as there are people about us, I
want you, I long for you, but as soon as we are by ourselves I am
afraid."
He replied by a cheap, spiteful sneer:
"Ah, if you must have a public to stimulate you!"
She rose, and returned to the window. A tear was running down her cheek.
She wept for some time in silence. Suddenly she called to him:
"Look there!"
She pointed to Jeanne Perrin, who was strolling on the lawn with a young
woman. Each had an arm about the other's waist; they were giving one
another violets to smell, and were smiling.
"See! That woman is happy; her mind at peace."
And Jeanne Perrin, tasting the peace of long-established habits,
strolled along satisfied and serene, without even betraying any pride in
her strange preference.
Felicie watched her with, an interest which she did not confess to
herself, and envied her her serenity.
"She's not afraid, that woman."
"Let her be! What harm is she doing us?"
And he caught her violently by the waist. She freed herself with a
shudder. In the end, disappointed, frustrated, humiliated, he lost his
temper, called her a silly fool, and swore that he would not stand her
ridiculous way of treating him any longer.
She made no reply, and once more she began to weep.
Angered by her tears, he told her harshly:
"Since you can no longer give me what I ask you, it is useless for us to
meet any more. There is nothing more to be said between us. Besides, I
see that you have ceased to love me. And you would admit, if for once
you could speak the truth, that you have never loved anyone except that
wretched second-rate actor."
Then her anger exploded, and she moaned in despair:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account