Actors -- Fiction; Adultery -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction; Staffordshire (England) -- Fiction
Next morning it was train and station, station and train, but despite many
delays they managed to catch the train, and on Monday night her
gracefulness was winning for her new admirers: in every town the company
visited she received letters and presents; none succeeded, however, in
weakening her love, or persuading her from Dick.
'Yet lovers around her are sighing,' Montgomery chuckled, and Dick began to
consider seriously the means to be adopted to secure Kate's advancement in
her new profession. One night Montgomery returned home with them after the
performance, bringing with him the script, and till one in the morning the
twain sat together trying to devise some extra lines for the first scene in
_Les Cloches_.
'The scene,' Dick said, 'is on the seashore. The girls are on their way to
market.'
'Supposing she said something like this, eh? "Mr. Baillie, do you like
brown eyes and cherry lips?" And then another would reply, "Cherry brandy
most like."'
'No, I don't think the public would see the point; you must remember we're
not playing to a London public. I think we'd better have something
broader.'
'Well, what?'
'You remember the scene in _Chilpéric_ when----'
The conversation wandered; and Mr. Diprose's version of the opera and his
usual vile taste in the stage management was severely commented on. In such
pleasant discussion an hour was agreeably spent; but at last the sudden
extinguishing of a cigarette reminded them that they had met for the
purpose of writing some dialogue. After a long silence Dick said:
'Supposing she were to say, "Mr. Baillie, you've a fine head." You know I
want something she'd get a laugh with.'
'If she said the truth, she'd say a fat head,' replied Montgomery with a
laugh.
'And why shouldn't she? That's the very thing. She's sure to get a laugh
with that--"Mr. Baillie, you have a fat head." Let's get that down first.
But what shall she say after?' And in silence they ransacked their memories
for a joke which could be fitted to the one they had just discovered.
After some five minutes of deep consideration, and wearied by the
unaccustomed mental strain put upon his mind, Dick said:
'Do you know the music of _Trône d'Écosse_? Devilish good. If the book
had been better it would have been a big success.'
'The waltz is about the prettiest thing Hervé has done.'
This expression of opinion led up to an animated discussion, in which the
rival claims of Hervé and Planquette were forcibly argued. Many cigarettes
were smoked, and not until the packet was emptied did it occur to them that
only one 'wheeze' had been found.
'I never can do anything without a cigarette; do try to find me one in the
next room, Kate, dear. Listen, Montgomery, we've got "Baillie, you've a fat
head." That'll do very well for a beginning; but I'm not good at finding
wheezes.'
'And then I can say, "Baillie, you've a fine head,"' said Kate, who had
been listening dreamily for a long time, afraid to interrupt.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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