Actors -- Fiction; Adultery -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction; Staffordshire (England) -- Fiction
'I love thee, I love thee, how fondly, how well
Let the years that are coming my constancy tell;
I think of thee daily, my night-thoughts are thine;
In fairy-like vision thy hand presses mine;
And even though absent you dwell in my heart;
Of all that is dear to me, dearest, thou art.'
In reading these lines Kate's heart began to beat quickly, her eyes filled
with tears, and wrapped in brightness, like a far distant coast-line, a
vision of her girlhood arose. She recalled the emotions she once
experienced, the books she had read, and the poetry that was lying upstairs
in an old trunk pushed under the bed. It seemed to her wonderful that it
had been forgotten so long; her memory skipped from one fragment to the
other, picking up a word here, a phrase there, until a remembrance of her
favourite novel seized her; she became the heroine of the absurd fiction,
substituting herself for the lady who used to read Byron and Shelley to the
gentleman who went to India in despair.
As the fitness of the comparison dawned upon her, she yielded to an
ineffable sentiment of weakness: George was the husband's name in the book,
she was Helene, and Dick was the lover to whom she could not, would not,
give herself, and who on that account had gone away in despair. The
coincidence appeared to her as something marvellous, something above
nature, and she turned it over, examined it in her mind, as a child would a
toy, till, forgetful of her desire to overlook these relics of old times,
she went upstairs to the workroom.
The missed visit to the theatre was a favourite theme of conversation
between the two women. Kate listened to what went on behind the scenes with
greater indulgence, and she seemed to become more accustomed to the idea
that Bill and Hender were something more than friends. She was conscious of
disloyalty to her own upbringing and to her mother-in-law who loved her,
and she often blamed herself and resolved never to allow Hender to speak
ill again of Mrs. Ede. But the temptation to complain was insidious. It was
not every woman who would consent, as she did, to live under the same roof
as her mother-in-law, and Hender, who hated Mrs. Ede, who spoke of her as
the 'hag,' never lost an opportunity of pointing out the fact that the
house was Kate's house and not Mrs. Ede's. The first time Hender said,
'After all, the house is yours,' Kate was pleased, but the girl insisted
too much, and Kate was often irritated against her assistant, and she often
raged inwardly. It was abominable to have her thoughts interpreted by
Hender. She loved her mother-in-law dearly, she didn't know what she'd do
without her, but--So it went on; struggle as she would with herself, there
still lay at the bottom of her mind the thought that Mrs. Ede had prevented
her from going that evening to the theatre, and turn, twist, and wander
away as she would, it invariably came back to her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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