Dr. Wolf was not satisfied with Johanna's mode of life. "Remember what
Goethe says about the man 'who devotes himself to solitude,'" he said.
"The author must not be alone; the full stream of being must bring him
refreshment and invigoration. And it is well also, for material reasons,
that he should be known personally."
Johanna did not agree with him. More than aught else, she assured him,
she needed repose. She had much to overcome and to analyze in herself
before she could attempt to create a position for herself. She did not
confess to him how crushed she was by her experience with Batti and Dr.
Stein. She dreaded the sight of a strange face. Her intercourse with Dr.
Wolf and the inmates of the house sufficed her, and when she was tired
of work, a walk in the quiet fields, or a rest on the terrace in the
shade of the lindens, restored her courage. Even the simple musical
performances in the evenings refreshed her more and more. The old
teacher's exquisite taste supplied his want of _technique_. Many a
brilliant performance in her father's house had failed to give Johanna
such an insight into Haydn and Mozart as she now gained from this
reverent, child-like nature. Or was it that she had become more
impressionable? Her greatest gain, however, was in the constant
companionship of her little sister, in the consciousness that, for a
while at least, the child was physically, morally, and mentally
breathing a healthy atmosphere. Now for the first time Lisbeth learned
to laugh and play without thinking of the impression she was producing.
She often spoke of her pretty mamma, but as of some image of a
fairy-tale, which had no place in every-day life.
And one day--Helena had already written twice from Brussels in raptures
with the charming city--there came a letter from Batti with terrible
news. He and Helena had driven out with a new pair of young horses; the
fiery animals had run away. Helena, needlessly terrified, had jumped
out of the carriage, and in so doing had received injuries from which
she had died in a few hours. "If I die, Johanna must take care of
Lisbeth," she had repeatedly declared; and although Batti passionately
longed for his step-daughter, he thought it his duty to fulfil his
wife's last wishes. Perhaps when Lisbeth was perfectly well Johanna
might take pity upon his desolate existence and bring the child to him
for a while. For the present, he went on to say, the sight of her would
be more than he could bear. And he could not stay in Brussels. He should
probably go immediately to St. Petersburg, or to Paris, or to London. It
was all the same to him now, only he must flee from the place where he
had had so terrible an experience. But wherever he might be, he should
labour for Lisbeth. The hope of providing brilliantly for her future was
now the only tie that bound him to life and that could console him for
his lost happiness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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