Thus restored to mental health, she had learned to rejoice in her new
existence, in her work for its own sake, in her gradual improvement and
success, and the result which she achieved. Many an acknowledgment, many
a word of encouragement, many a kindly salutation, had reached her in
her solitude, and had given her the assurance that she had not written
in vain.
And how her very heart and soul had been fed by Lisbeth's love, and the
child's health and progress! When the terrible news had come from
Brussels, the little one had cried bitterly for her dear pretty mamma,
whom she should never see again. But childhood's tears are soon dried;
Lisbeth soon smiled through hers. Her new home became her world, and
every one in the house petted and loved the little orphan.
Johanna, however, was the dearest confidante of her childish heart, and
an evening walk with her through the silent fields, the hour of quiet
talk before she went to bed, the _tête-à-tête_ of the sisters at their
early breakfast, were Lisbeth's cherished enjoyments.
Johanna's hope that the child would be left solely to her care had been
fulfilled. Batti had written only once after his first outpouring of
despair and grief. He had then sent trunks full of expensive dresses,
etc., to be kept for Lisbeth; and since no word had come from him.
Johanna saw in the newspaper that he had passed the winter in Paris
instead of St. Petersburg, and that was all that she knew, and even more
than she wished to know, concerning him. She did not conceal from
herself for a moment the magnitude of the responsibility which thus
devolved upon her; but she felt strong and capable. She wrote upon her
blotting-book the homely old motto,--
"Do thou but begin the weaving,
God the yarn will aye be giving."
Thus far it had been given to her, and she would always heed Goethe's
admonition, "Go to work and help yourself for the present, and hope and
trust in God for the future."
And yet, in spite of all that she possessed, and most frequently when
she was vividly conscious of how much this was, she was tormented by a
painful sense of deprivation. Her intercourse with the members of the
household was most friendly. Dr. Wolf visited her frequently, was her
faithful adviser, brought her books and periodicals, intellectual food
of all kinds; but with increasing hunger she longed for Aunt Thekla's
maternal care, the society of her grandfather, and Ludwig's faithful,
honest affection.
She never allowed herself any indulgence in this species of
home-sickness; and now, as always when it attacked her, she strove to
distract her thoughts; she would call Lisbeth, who was playing with the
'little ones,' and she had just opened her own door to do so, when the
landing-door was hastily flung wide.
Involuntarily she stood still. The dogs barked, the door-bell rang
violently with the shock, and a man addressed a question to her from the
gathering darkness. She did not understand it, but she knew the voice.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account