She shook her head. "My correspondence with Mathilde had languished for
a long time, and I do not like to complain," she said. He took her words
as a hint, and said, evasively, "Let me tell you how I discovered you.
On a visit to a patient--I do not practise usually, but I could not
refuse the urgent request of a few of my countrymen--I found her full of
delight in a German book which she had just read. She showed me the
title-page. The odd motto reminded me of you: 'Do thou but begin the
weaving, God the yarn will aye be giving.' Do you remember how we
quarrelled over it once? As I was recollecting this, I turned over the
leaves mechanically. I seemed to recognize your manner of speech, your
way of looking at men and things. Yes, there was Lindenbad, and even the
garden-gate from which we have so often watched the sunset with my
blessed mother. I took the book home with me, and read it steadily until
I had finished it--_I reading a woman's romance!_ And as I laid it aside
I said to myself, 'Either she wrote it, or there exists somewhere her
twin mind.' This was interesting psychologically. You can guess the
rest. Day before yesterday I received an answer from your publisher. And
now it is your turn to tell what you wish to. Only what you wish to," he
added, with some bitterness. "I know that the old right is no longer
mine, and I do not lay claim to it."
His last sentence hurt Johanna, and closed her heart and her lips. She
gave him only the outlines of all that she had passed through. Ludwig
supposed that it pained her too much to dwell upon it. Thus they still
played 'hide-and-seek' with each other, and when they were no longer
alone, Johanna scarcely knew whether to rejoice in their meeting again.
The next morning Ludwig was to leave Hanover: he was expected in
Lindenbad; but he came early to Terrace-Cottage, knocked at Johanna's
door, and found her alone.
"Now it is your turn to give an account of yourself," said Johanna,
after the first salutations. And he told her, in his old, familiar way,
of his travels, his researches, his work and its results. More than all
it seemed to delight him that he had lately been proffered a chair in a
German university. Johanna asked if he should accept it.
"I do not know; it depends," he replied, with some hesitation. "But
enough of myself. I think you are changed; it strikes me to-day, by
daylight, for the first time. You are pale, you look weary. Have you
been ill?"
She shook her head.
"Then you work too much, you take too little exercise." And, with a
glance toward her writing-table, he added, "How did you happen upon
authorship? I cannot understand it."
"Recollect how I always loved to 'make up' stories," Johanna replied.
"The love grew with my years. Thank God that it was so! My desire to go
upon the stage was only a misconception of my task."
"Task?" he repeated. "You do not believe that anything, save the force
of outward circumstances, drove you to write? Do not deceive
yourself----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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