"Oh, I fancy I was looking up the New York trains," Langbourne returned.
He did not like these evasions, but in his consciousness of Miss Simpson
he seemed unable to avoid them. The clerk went out on the veranda to
talk with a farmer bringing supplies, and Langbourne ran to the
register, and read there the names of Barbara F. Simpson and Juliet D.
Bingham. It was Miss Simpson who had registered for both, since her name
came first, and the entry was in a good, simple hand, which was like a
man's in its firmness and clearness. He turned from the register decided
to take the four-o'clock train for Upper Ashton Falls, and met a
messenger with a telegram which he knew was for himself before the boy
could ask his name. His partner had fallen suddenly sick; his recall was
absolute, his vacation was at an end; nothing remained for him but to
take the first train back to New York. He thought how little prescient
he had been in his pretence that he was looking the New York trains up;
but the need of one had come already, and apparently he should never
have any use for a train to Upper Ashton Falls.
IV.
All the way back to New York Langbourne was oppressed by a sense of loss
such as his old disappointment in love now seemed to him never to have
inflicted. He found that his whole being had set toward the unseen owner
of the voice which had charmed him, and it was like a stretching and
tearing of the nerves to be going from her instead of going to her. He
was as much under duress as if he were bound by a hypnotic spell. The
voice continually sounded, not in his ears, which were filled with the
noises of the train, as usual, but in the inmost of his spirit, where it
was a low, cooing, coaxing murmur. He realized now how intensely he must
have listened for it in the night, how every tone of it must have
pervaded him and possessed him. He was in love with it, he was as
entirely fascinated by it as if it were the girl's whole presence, her
looks, her qualities. The remnant of the summer passed in the fret of
business, which was doubly irksome through his feeling of injury in
being kept from the girl whose personality he constructed from the sound
of her voice, and set over his fancy in an absolute sovereignty. The
image he had created of her remained a dim and blurred vision throughout
the day, but by night it became distinct and compelling. One evening,
late in the fall, he could endure the stress no longer, and he yielded
to the temptation which had beset him from the first moment he renounced
his purpose of returning in person the circular addressed to her as a
means of her acquaintance. He wrote to her, and in terms as dignified as
he could contrive, and as free from any ulterior import, he told her he
had found it in the hotel hallway and had meant to send it to her at
once, thinking it might be of some slight use to her. He had failed to
do this, and now, having come upon it among some other papers, he sent
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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