"You could find out for me."
"I don't see how," I said; but I did see how, and I knew as well as he
what his next approach would be. I felt strong against it, however, and
I did not perceive the necessity of being short with him in a matter not
involving my own security or comfort.
"I could find out where Hasketh is," he said, naming the husband of his
sister-in-law; "but it would be of no use for me to go there. They
wouldn't see me." He put this like a question, but I chose to let it be
its own answer, and he went on. "There is no one that I can ask to act
for me in the matter but you, and I ask _you_, March, to go to my
sister-in-law for me."
I shook my head. "That I can't do, Tedham."
"Ah!" he urged, "what harm could it do you?"
"Look here, Tedham!" I said. "I don't know why you feel authorized to
come to me at all. It is useless your saying that there is no one else.
You know very well that the authorities, some of them--the
chaplain--would go and see Mrs. Hasketh for you. He could have a great
deal more influence with her than any one else could, if he felt like
saying a good word for you. As far as I am concerned, you have expiated
your offence fully; but I should think you yourself would see that you
ought not to come to me with this request; or you ought to come to me
last of all men."
"It is just because of that part of my offence which concerned you that
I come to you. I knew how generous you were, and after you told me that
you had no resentment--I acknowledge that it is indelicate, if you
choose to look at it in that light, but a man like me can't afford to
let delicacy stand in his way. I don't want to flatter you, or get you
to do this thing for me on false pretences. But I thought that if you
went to Mrs. Hasketh for me, she would remember that you had overlooked
something, and she would be more disposed to--to--be considerate."
"I can't do it, Tedham," I returned. "It would be of no use. Besides, I
don't like the errand. I'm not sure that I have any business to
interfere. I am not sure that you have any right to disturb the shape
that their lives have settled into. I'm sorry for you, I pity you with
all my heart. But there are others to be considered as well as you.
And--simply, I can't."
"How do you know," he entreated, "that my daughter wouldn't be as glad
to see me as I to see her?"
"I don't know it. I don't know anything about it. That's the reason I
can't have anything to do with it. I can't justify myself in meddling
with what doesn't concern me, and in what I'm not sure but I should do
more harm than good. I must say good-night. It's getting late, and they
will be anxious about me at home." My heart smote me as I spoke the last
word, which seemed a cruel recognition of Tedham's homelessness. But I
held out my hand to him for parting, and braced myself against my inward
weakness.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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