Before setting out on his expedition to the slave-merchant and the
Almehs, the Doctor asked M. de Morin to go with him, but the
invitation was declined with thanks. The young painter, as we have
before remarked, had not for some time past been in the humour to
partake of any pleasure that Khartoum could offer him. None of the
curious sights of the place had any charms for him, and he did not
take the slightest interest in unravelling those mysteries which M.
Delange, for the purpose of cheering him up and rousing him from his
apathy, from time to time described. On the evening when his friend
made this latest suggestion to him, he was less disposed than ever to
listen. For several days past he had had recourse to the favourite
device of lovers—avoiding the beloved one, abstaining from paying her
any visits, giving no sign of existence, waiting to be summoned. But
Madame de Guéran did not appear to notice his disappearance, and
pursued the even tenor of her way, just as if he had no existence so
far as she was concerned. How could she have become so completely
indifferent to what became of him? She was not bound to love him, he
was quite aware of that, and she had a perfect right to prefer
somebody else. But, at the same time, had she any right to carry to
such an extreme her indifference for the man who had sacrificed
everything to accompany her, and to share her fatigues and her
dangers? Surely, even as a mere travelling companion he was worth the
display of a little interest.
Nay, more, in defiance of all her promises she was already displaying
her preference for M. Périères! She had not even waited until the
journey should be more advanced, but at the very first stage of any
importance, in the first town where she had stayed for any time, she
threw aside all reserve, made no secret of her choice, and, whilst
opening her heart to one admirer, banished the other for ever and a
day! Ought she not, at all events, to have frankly sent for him, told
him how the case stood, and offered him his liberty?
Or did she think that on their present terms he was going with her to
the very heart of Africa, the end of the world, perhaps, to watch
over her and the man she loved, to shield them from every danger, to
save their precious lives, and with them to return to Paris to be
present at their marriage, after having been a witness to their
protracted love-making! No, a thousand times, no! he would leave her,
flee from her, return to France, to Paris, forget her, plunge into
the vortex of pleasure, stifle his passion, and harden his heart so
as never to suffer for another what he had gone through for her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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