A Pasteboard Crown: A Story of the New York StageMorris, Clara
General
A Pasteboard Crown: A Story of the New York Stage
Morris, Clara
Actresses -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Theater -- Fiction
"Lettice, did it ever occur to you that a wife's unjust suspicions may
help a man on to disloyalty? You no sooner took my name than you became
a personified suspicion. You claimed dominion over my very thoughts. My
every movement seemed to arouse your mistrust. You put spies upon me,
when I had not even a thought of disloyalty. I discovered it, and,
though I am ashamed now of the boyish folly, it's none the less true
that I first broke my solemn vow to you out of revenge for your unjust
suspicion. Then you helped me with your money and with your astonishing
ability to twist and turn everything to our advantage and profit; and
let me say that your audacious plans were not always quite scrupulous,
Lettice! But when I found that that troubled you not a bit, I somehow
felt that my disloyalty was not worth troubling about either. I was
truly grateful for your help, but you wanted me on my knees, and you
rubbed the service in so hard that it became unendurable, and I was in
torment until I paid you the money back, with interest. But still you
feel that I owe you a debt of gratitude, because, finding me an artist,
full of dreams and willing to wait for their fulfilment, you have made
of me a showman instead--a successful one at that. And now we have
become such strangers that we place the ocean between us, for the
comfort of its vast breadth dividing us. Lettice, we can't be less to
each other than we are, and yet you reproach me with my infidelities. I
can't understand why. I can't even understand why you married me. If you
had ever loved me"--(he was busy with the pencils, he never saw the
slowly rising blood creeping up even to the roots of her hair)--"but you
never did, even at the first. I suppose you could not resist that
craving you had to show what you could do with me, how you could push
me. Lettice, don't you want to accept half of my earnings, and--and take
your freedom--your legal freedom, I mean--without any blame being
attached to you? Lettice, cast back my name, you can't care for it
longer. See, I humble myself to entreat your favor in this matter!
Accept your freedom--become once more Lettice Rowland!"
And, as the urgent voice ceased, Lettice asked, coldly: "Why?" and then
had followed the silence.
And the man with the restless fingers saw all the time the dark,
stricken face of the girl he loved, and seemed to hear the rapid, uneven
footfalls of the young creature pursued by bitter memories through the
heavy hours of the night, and the perspiration stood upon his forehead.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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