Conrad, Joseph, 1857-1924; Novelists, English -- 20th century -- Biography
She was really calling upon my wife in the soft spirit of afternoon
friendliness, but with her usual martial determination. She marched into
my room swinging her stick . . . but no--I mustn't exaggerate. It is not
my specialty. I am not a humoristic writer. In all soberness, then, all
I am certain of is that she had a stick to swing.
No ditch or wall encompassed my abode. The window was open; the door,
too, stood open to that best friend of my work, the warm, still sunshine
of the wide fields. They lay around me infinitely helpful, but, truth to
say, I had not known for weeks whether the sun shone upon the earth and
whether the stars above still moved on their appointed courses. I was
just then giving up some days of my allotted span to the last chapters
of the novel “Nostromo,” a tale of an imaginary (but true) seaboard,
which is still mentioned now and again, and indeed kindly, sometimes in
connection with the word “failure” and sometimes in conjunction with the
word “astonishing.” I have no opinion on this discrepancy. It's the sort
of difference that can never be settled. All I know is that, for twenty
months, neglecting the common joys of life that fall to the lot of the
humblest on this earth, I had, like the prophet of old, “wrestled with
the Lord” for my creation, for the headlands of the coast, for the
darkness of the Placid Gulf, the light on the snows, the clouds in the
sky, and for the breath of life that had to be blown into the shapes
of men and women, of Latin and Saxon, of Jew and Gentile. These are,
perhaps, strong words, but it is difficult to characterize other wise
the intimacy and the strain of a creative effort in which mind and will
and conscience are engaged to the full, hour after hour, day after day,
away from the world, and to the exclusion of all that makes life really
lovable and gentle--something for which a material parallel can only be
found in the everlasting sombre stress of the westward winter passage
round Cape Horn. For that, too, is the wrestling of men with the might
of their Creator, in a great isolation from the world, without the
amenities and consolations of life, a lonely struggle under a sense of
overmatched littleness, for no reward that could be adequate, but for
the mere winning of a longitude. Yet a certain longitude, once won,
cannot be disputed. The sun and the stars and the shape of your earth
are the witnesses of your gain; whereas a handful of pages, no matter
how much you have made them your own, are at best but an obscure and
questionable spoil. Here they are. “Failure”--“Astonishing”: take your
choice; or perhaps both, or neither--a mere rustle and flutter of pieces
of paper settling down in the night, and undistinguishable, like the
snowflakes of a great drift destined to melt away in sunshine.
“How do you do?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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