Boardinghouses -- Juvenile fiction; London (England) -- Juvenile fiction; Love stories; Mothers and daughters -- Juvenile fiction
"Oh, it is so nice," said mother; "Nurse Marion has made me
delightfully comfortable; and is not the room sweet with that
delicious old-fashioned lavender she uses, and with all those spring
flowers?"
"I have opened the window, too," said the nurse, "the more air the
dear lady gets the better for her; but now, Miss Wickham, I cannot
allow your mother to talk. Will you come back again; or, if you stay,
will you be very quiet?"
"As you are here to look after mother I will come back again," I said.
I bent down, kissed the lily white hand which lay on the counterpane,
and rushed from the room. Stabs of agony were going through my heart,
and yet I must not give way!
I ran upstairs, and knocked at Mrs. Fanning's door. As Albert Fanning
was out, I was determined to see her. There was no reply to my
summons, and after a moment I opened the door and looked in. The room
was empty. I went to my own room, sat down for a moment, and tried to
consider how things were tending with me, and what the end would be.
Rather than mother should suffer another pang, I would marry Albert
Fanning. But must it come to this!
I put on my outdoor things, and ran downstairs. The closeness and
oppression of the day before had changed into a most balmy and
delicious spring morning; a sort of foretaste day of early summer. I
was reckless, my purse was very light, but what did that matter. I
stopped a hansom, got into it, and gave the man Albert Fanning's
address in Paternoster Row. Was I mad to go to him--to beard the lion
in his den? I did not know; I only knew that sane or mad, I must do
what I had made up my mind to do.
The hansom bowled smoothly along, and I sat back in the farthest
corner, and tried to hope that no one saw me. A pale, very slender,
very miserable girl was all that they would have seen; the grace gone
from her, the beauty all departed; a sort of wreck of a girl, who had
made a great failure of her life, and of the happiness of those
belonging to her. Oh, if only the past six or eight months could be
lived over again, how differently would I have spent them! The cottage
in the country seemed now to be a sort of paradise. If only I could
take mother to it, I would be content to be buried away from the eyes
of the world for evermore. But mother was dying; there would be no
need soon for any of us to trouble about her future, for God Himself
was taking it into His own hands, and had prepared for her a mansion,
and an unfading habitation.
I scarcely dared think of this. Be the end long, or be the end short,
during the remaining days or weeks of her existence, she must not be
worried, she must go happily, securely, confidently, down to the
Valley. That was the thought, the only thought which stayed with me,
as I drove as fast as I could in the direction of Mr. Fanning's place
of business.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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