A Portrait of the Artist as a Young ManJoyce, James
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A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
Joyce, James
Artists -- Fiction; Autobiographical fiction; Bildungsromans; Dublin (Ireland) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
_April_ 1. Disapprove of this last phrase.
_April_ 2. Saw her drinking tea and eating cakes in Johnston’s, Mooney
and O’Brien’s. Rather, lynx-eyed Lynch saw her as we passed. He tells
me Cranly was invited there by brother. Did he bring his crocodile? Is
he the shining light now? Well, I discovered him. I protest I did.
Shining quietly behind a bushel of Wicklow bran.
_April_ 3. Met Davin at the cigar shop opposite Findlater’s church. He
was in a black sweater and had a hurley stick. Asked me was it true I
was going away and why. Told him the shortest way to Tara was _via_
Holyhead. Just then my father came up. Introduction. Father polite and
observant. Asked Davin if he might offer him some refreshment. Davin
could not, was going to a meeting. When we came away father told me he
had a good honest eye. Asked me why I did not join a rowing club. I
pretended to think it over. Told me then how he broke Pennyfeather’s
heart. Wants me to read law. Says I was cut out for that. More mud,
more crocodiles.
_April_ 5. Wild spring. Scudding clouds. O life! Dark stream of
swirling bogwater on which appletrees have cast down their delicate
flowers. Eyes of girls among the leaves. Girls demure and romping. All
fair or auburn: no dark ones. They blush better. Houp-la!
_April_ 6. Certainly she remembers the past. Lynch says all women do.
Then she remembers the time of her childhood—and mine if I was ever a
child. The past is consumed in the present and the present is living
only because it brings forth the future. Statues of women, if Lynch be
right, should always be fully draped, one hand of the woman feeling
regretfully her own hinder parts.
_April_ 6, _later_. Michael Robartes remembers forgotten beauty and,
when his arms wrap her round, he presses in his arms the loveliness
which has long faded from the world. Not this. Not at all. I desire to
press in my arms the loveliness which has not yet come into the world.
_April_ 10. Faintly, under the heavy night, through the silence of the
city which has turned from dreams to dreamless sleep as a weary lover
whom no caresses move, the sound of hoofs upon the road. Not so faintly
now as they come near the bridge; and in a moment, as they pass the
darkened windows, the silence is cloven by alarm as by an arrow. They
are heard now far away, hoofs that shine amid the heavy night as gems,
hurrying beyond the sleeping fields to what journey’s end—what
heart?—bearing what tidings?
_April_ 11. Read what I wrote last night. Vague words for a vague
emotion. Would she like it? I think so. Then I should have to like it
also.
_April_ 13. That tundish has been on my mind for a long time. I looked
it up and find it English and good old blunt English too. Damn the dean
of studies and his funnel! What did he come here for to teach us his
own language or to learn it from us. Damn him one way or the other!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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