When a childish disposition is carried over into an adult environment
the result is a radically false valuation of that environment. The
symptoms are fairly evident. They may appear as a disposition to feel
that everything which happens to a man has an intentional relation to
himself; life becomes a kind of conspiracy to make him happy or to make
him miserable. In either case it is thought to be deeply concerned with
his destiny. The childish pattern appears also as a deep sense that
life owes him something, that somehow it is the duty of the universe to
look after him, and to listen sharply when he speaks to it. The notion
that the universe is full of [p185] purposes utterly unknown to him,
utterly indifferent to him, is as outrageous to one who is imperfectly
matured as would be the conduct of a mother who forgot to give a hungry
child its lunch. The childish pattern appears also as a disposition to
believe that he may reach out for anything in sight and take it, and
that having gotten it nobody must ever under any circumstances take
it away. Death and decay are, therefore, almost an insult, a kind of
mischief in the nature of things, which ought not to be there, and
would not be there, if everything only behaved as good little boys
believe it should. There is indeed authority for the belief that we
are all being punished for the naughtiness of our first grandmother;
that work and trouble and death would not really be there to plague us
but for her unhappy transgression; that by rights we ought to live in
paradise and have everything we want for ever and ever.
Here, too, is the source of that common complaint of the world-weary
that they are tired of their pleasures. They have what they yearned
for; yet having it they are depressed at finding that they do not care.
Their inability to enjoy what they can have is the obverse of the
desire to possess the unattainable: both are due to carrying over the
expectations of youth into adult life. They find themselves in a world
unlike the world of their youth; they themselves are no longer youths.
But they retain the criteria of youth, and with them measure the world
and their own deserts.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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