“And you’re going further than Carlisle, you say, sir? I’ll be sworn the
good lady is up somewhere in that direction, and she won’t be
disappointed when she sees you--oh, no! Scotch, sir?”
“I am not Scotch,” said Lavender, curtly.
“And she?”
Should he have to throw the man out of the window? “Yes.”
“The Scotch are a strange race--very,” said the genial person, producing
a brandy flask. “They drink a trifle, don’t they? and yet they keep
their wits about them if you’ve dealings with them. A very strange race
of people, in my opinion--very. Know the story of the master who fancied
his man was drunk? ‘Donald, you’re trunk,’ says he. ‘It’s a tam lee,’
says Donald. ‘Donald, ye ken ye’re trunk,’ says the master. ‘Ah ken ah
wish to Kott ah was!’ says Donald. Good story, ain’t it, sir?”
Lavender had heard the remarkable old joke a hundred times, but just at
this moment there was something odd in this vulgar person suddenly
imitating, and imitating very well, the Highland accent. Had he been way
up in the North? or had he merely heard the story related by one who had
been? Lavender dared not ask, however, for fear of prolonging a
conversation in which he had no wish to join. Indeed, to get rid of the
man, he shoved a whole bundle of the morning papers into his hand.
“What’s your opinion of politics at present, sir?” observed his friend,
in an off-hand way.
“I haven’t any,” said Lavender, compelled to take back one of the
newspapers and open it.
“I think myself they’re in a bad state; that’s my opinion. There ain’t a
man among them that knows how to keep down those people; that’s my
opinion, sir. What do you think?”
“Oh, I think so, too,” said Lavender. “You’ll find a good article in
that paper on University Tests.”
The cheery person looked rather blank.
“I would like to hear your opinion about ’em, sir,” he said. “It ain’t
much good reading only one side of a question; but when you can talk
about and discuss it, now--”
“I am sorry I can’t oblige you,” said Lavender, goaded into making some
desperate effort to release himself. “I am suffering from a relaxed
throat at present. My doctor has warned me against talking too much.”
“I beg your pardon, sir. You don’t seem very well; perhaps the throat
comes with a little feverishness, you see--a cold, in fact. Now if I was
you I would try tannin lozenges for the throat. They’re uncommon good
for the throat; and a little quinine for the general system--that would
put you as right as a fiver. I tried it myself when I was down in
‘Ampshire last year. And you wouldn’t find a drop of this brandy a bad
thing, either, if you don’t mind rowing in the same boat as myself.”
Lavender declined the proffered flask, and subsided behind a newspaper.
His fellow-traveler lit another cheroot, took up Bradshaw, and settled
himself in a corner.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account