The struggle was prolonged for some months, but the end was certain from the first. It was probably during the spring of 1770 that the flood of passion broke the Queen's last barriers down. Her enemies afterwards declared that she entered on this fatal dalliance about the time of the Crown Prince's illness. Certain it is that after Struensee had been appointed her private secretary, a marked change took place in Matilda's manner and bearing. She is no longer a pathetic figure of wronged and youthful innocence, but appears as a beautiful and self-willed woman who is dominated by a great passion. There were no half measures about Matilda; her love for Struensee was the one supreme love of her life; it was a love so unselfish and all-absorbing, so complete in its abandonment, that it wrung reluctant admiration even from those who blamed it most. Once the Rubicon crossed, reserve, discretion, even ordinary prudence, were thrown to the winds. Struensee's object seems to have been to compromise the Queen as much as possible, so that she could not draw back. He was always with her, and she granted him privileges which, as Reverdil says, "would have ruined the reputation of any ordinary woman," though it has been pleaded, on the other hand, that her indifference to appearances was a proof of her innocence. The Queen and her favourite were inseparable; he was admitted to her apartments at all hours; she took solitary walks with him in the gardens and woods, and she frequently drove and rode out alone with him; at balls and masquerades, at the theatre and the opera, he was always by her side; and in public and at court she followed him with her eyes, and did not attempt to disguise the predilection she had for him.