She had been his mother, and he came to rifle her grave.
What a crime! What a foul, black crime, such as men and women would
scarce speak of with bated breath by their hearths in the full blaze of
day! What a crime! He abhorred himself for doing it, as he would have
abhorred a poisoner or a parricide seeing them pass to the gallows.
'Oh, mother, mother, forgive me! She will have it so!' he sobbed with a
piteous prayer.
He thought that, being dead, his mother would understand and forgive,
as she would never have understood or forgiven when living.
Then he struck his spade down into the heavy clay on which no
bird-sown seed of blade or blossom had yet had any time to spring.
He dug and dug and dug, till the sweat rolled off his limbs and his
shoulders ached and his arms quivered.
He threw spadefuls of clay one after another out on the ground around,
his eyes growing used to the darkness, and his hands gripping the spade
handle harder and harder in desperation. The very horror of his action
nerved him to feverish force.
'Oh, Santina, Santina, you give my soul to hell fires everlasting!' he
cried aloud once, as he jammed the iron spade down deeper and deeper
into the ground, tearing the stiff soil asunder and crushing the stones.
The moon came forth from the clouds, and the burial-ground grew white
with her light where the shadows of the wall did not fall. He looked
up once; then he saw black crosses, black skulls and cross-bones, rank
grass, crumbling headstones, nameless mounds all round him, and beyond
them the tower of the church.
But his mother's coffin he did not find. In vain he dug, and searched,
and frantically tossed aside the earth in such haste to have ended and
finished with his horrible task.
His mother's coffin he could not find.
Under the rays of the moon the desecrated ground lay, all broken up
and heaped and tossed together, as though an earthquake had riven the
soil. But the deal shell which he had made with his own hands and borne
thither on his own shoulders, he could not find.
'She will never believe! she will never believe!' he thought.
Santina would never believe that he had come there if he met her at
dawn with empty hands. He could hear in fancy her shrill, cruel,
hissing shriek of mockery and derision; and he felt that if he did so
hear it in reality it would drive him mad.
He dug, and dug, and dug, more furiously, more blindly, going
unconsciously farther and farther away from where the two crossed
chestnut sticks had been; they had been uprooted and buried long before
under the first heap of clay which he had thrown out from the grave.
He had forgotten that they alone were his landmarks and guides; in the
darkness which had been followed by the uncertain, misleading light of
the moon, he had gone far from them.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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