A Reckless Character, and Other StoriesTurgenev, Ivan Sergeevich
General
A Reckless Character, and Other Stories
Turgenev, Ivan Sergeevich
Russia -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Turgenev, Ivan Sergeevich, 1818-1883 -- Translations into English
Aratoff found few pedestrians on the boulevard. The weather was raw and
quite cold. He strove not to think of what he was doing. He forced
himself to turn his attention to all the objects he came across and
pretended to assure himself that he had come out to walk precisely like
the other people.... The letter of the day before was in his
side-pocket, and he was uninterruptedly conscious of its presence. He
walked the length of the boulevard a couple of times, darting keen
glances at every feminine form which approached him, and his heart
thumped, thumped violently.... He began to feel tired, and sat down on a
bench. And suddenly the idea occurred to him: "Come now, what if that
letter was not written by her but by some one else, by some other
woman?" In point of fact, that should have made no difference to him ...
and yet he was forced to admit to himself that he did not wish this. "It
would be very stupid," he thought, "still more stupid than _that_!" A
nervous restlessness began to take possession of him; he began to feel
chilly, not outwardly but inwardly. Several times he drew out his watch
from his waistcoat pocket, glanced at the face, put it back again,--and
every time forgot how many minutes were lacking to five o'clock. It
seemed to him as though every one who passed him stared at him in a
peculiar manner, surveying him with a certain sneering surprise and
curiosity. A wretched little dog ran up, sniffed at his legs and began
to wag its tail. He flourished his arms angrily at it. He was most
annoyed of all by a small boy from a factory in a bed-ticking jacket,
who seated himself on the bench and first whistled, then scratched his
head, dangling his legs, encased in huge, broken boots, the while, and
staring at him from time to time. "His employer is certainly expecting
him," thought Aratoff, "and here he is, the lazy dog, wasting his time
idling about...."
But at that same moment it seemed to him as though some one had
approached and taken up a stand close behind him ... a warm current
emanated thence....
He glanced round.... It was she!
He recognised her immediately, although a thick, dark-blue veil
concealed her features. He instantly sprang from the bench, and remained
standing there, unable to utter a word. She also maintained silence. He
felt greatly agitated ... but her agitation was as great as his: Aratoff
could not help seeing even through the veil how deadly pale she grew.
But she was the first to speak.
"Thank you," she began in a broken voice, "thank you for coming. I did
not hope...." She turned away slightly and walked along the boulevard.
Aratoff followed her.
"Perhaps you condemn me," she went on, without turning her head.--"As a
matter of fact, my action is very strange.... But I have heard a great
deal about you ... but no! I ... that was not the cause.... If you only
knew.... I wanted to say so much to you, my God!... But how am I to do
it?... How am I to do it!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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