Esther longed for her former friend and instructor with a longing which
cannot be put into words. Yet longing is hardly the expression for it;
she was not a child to sit and wish for the unattainable; it was rather
a deep and aching sense of want. She never forgot him. If Pitt's own
mother thought of him more constantly, she was the only person in the
world of whom that was true. Pitt sometimes wrote to Colonel
Gainsborough, and then Esther treasured up every revelation and detail
of the letter and added them to what she knew already, so as to piece
out as full an image as possible of Pitt's life and doings. But how the
child wanted him, missed him, and wept for him! Though of the latter
not much; she was not a child given to crying. The harder for her,
perhaps.
The Dallases, husband and wife, were not much seen at this time in the
colonel's quiet house. Mr. Dallas did come sometimes of an evening and
sat and talked with its master; and he was not refreshing to Esther,
not even when the talk ran upon his absent son; for the question had
begun to be mooted publicly, whether Pitt should go to England to
finish his education. It began to be spoken of in Pitt's letters too;
he supposed it would come to that, he said; his mother and father had
set their hearts on Oxford or Cambridge. Colonel Gainsborough heartily
approved. It was like a knell of fate to Esther.
They were alone together one day, as usual, the father and daughter;
and silence had reigned a long while in the room, when Esther broke it.
She had been sitting poring over a book; now she looked up with a very
burdened brow and put her question.
'Papa, how do people get comfort out of the Bible?'
'Eh--what, my dear?' said the colonel, rousing his attention.
'What must one do, to get comfort out of the Bible?'
'Comfort?' repeated the colonel, now looking round at her. 'Are you in
want of comfort, Esther?'
'I would like to know how to find it, papa, if it is here.'
'Here? What have you got there? Come where I can see you.'
Esther drew near, unwillingly. 'It is the Bible, papa.'
'And _what_ is it you want from the Bible?--Comfort?'
'Mamma used to say one could get comfort in the Bible, and I wanted to
know how.'
'Did she?' said the colonel with grave thoughtfulness. But he said no
more. Esther waited. Her father's tone had changed; he seemed to have
gone back into regions of the past, and to have forgotten her. The
minutes ran on, without her daring to remind him that her question was
still unanswered. The colonel at last, with a long sigh, took up his
book again; then seemed to bethink him, and turned to Esther.
'I do not know, my dear,' he said. 'I never could get it there myself,
except in a very modified way. Perhaps it is my fault.'
The subject was disposed of, as far as the colonel was concerned.
Esther could ask him no more. But that evening, when Mrs. Barker was
attending upon her, she made one more trial.
'Barker, do you know the Bible much?'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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