Esther would a little rather have kept it to herself, simply because it
was so precious to her. However, this question was a command, and she
read the letter aloud to her father. With that the matter was disposed
of, in all but her own mind. For the final result of the letter was to
stir up all the pain the writer's absence had caused, and to add to it
some new elements of aggravation. Esther had not realized, till those
letters came, how entirely the writer of them had gone out of her
world. In love and memory she had in a sort still kept him near;
without vision she had yet been not fully separated from him. Now these
pictures of the other world and of Pitt's life in it came like a
bright, sheer blade severing the connection which had until then
subsisted between her life and his. Yes, he was in another world! and
there was no connection any longer. He had not forgotten her yet, but
he would forget; how should he not? how could he help it? In the rich
sweep of variety and change and eager action which filled his
experience, what thought could he have any more for that quiet figure
on the sofa, or this lonely little child, whose life contained no
interest whatever! or how could his thoughts return at all to this dull
room, where everything remained with no change from morning to night
and from one week to another? Always Colonel Gainsborough there on the
sofa; always that same green cloth covering the table in the middle of
the floor, and the view of the snow-covered garden and road and fields
outside the windows, with those everlasting pollard poplars along the
fence. While Europe was in commotion, and armies rolling their masses
over it, and Napoleon fleeing and Lord Wellington chasing, and every
breath was full of eagerness and hope and triumph and purpose in that
world without.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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