A Romance of Billy-Goat HillRice, Alice Caldwell Hegan
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A Romance of Billy-Goat Hill
Rice, Alice Caldwell Hegan
Kentucky -- Fiction
“But there may be a note,” said Miss Lady, searching in the tissue
paper.
Margery shook her head wearily; the little animation that had flushed
her face, died out leaving it wan and listless.
“I suppose you think this is a queer way for an engaged girl to talk,”
she said presently, with a nervous catch in her voice. “The truth is Lee
and I have quarreled over my uncle, Donald Morley. I will never forgive
him for the way he has treated Don; never!”
“You will if you love him,” said Miss Lady.
“But I'm not sure that I do!” burst out Margery. “I oughtn't to say
it! I shan't say it again, but I shall die if I don't talk to somebody.
Mother won't listen to a word. She says it's nerves. But the truth is,
Miss Lady, I've never been sure; that's what's making me ill!”
“Have you told him?”
“Yes, and he laughs at me. He may be right, they all may be right. When
I get well I may laugh at myself. But just now it seems so terrible for
the preparations to be going on while I'm lying here, night after night,
fighting down the doubts, trying to persuade myself, trying to be sure.
How can you tell when you are in love? How do you know?”
Miss Lady's hand that had been softly stroking the girl's thin white
fingers, paused; her eyes sought the open window, and she drew a short
breath.
“Know?” she repeated as if to herself. “How do you know when you are
cold, when you are hungry, when you're tired, when you're lonesome? How
do you know that you want air when you are smothering? Everything about
you tells you, your heart, your mind, your body, your soul. You can't
help knowing!”
“But suppose I don't feel like that! And suppose I should, some day,
for some one else! Oh! Miss Lady tell me what to do! Everybody else is
rushing me on, telling me not to worry, not to be afraid. But you
are not like the others, you consider something more than the outside
advantages to be gained. Tell me, what would you do in my place?”
“I'd wait for the real one to come,” cried Miss Lady, turning upon her
almost fiercely, “I'd wait, if it was forever! They have no right to
persuade you. You either love or you don't love and no power on earth
can make it different. You can laugh at sentiment and pretend you don't
believe in it, you can tell yourself a thousand times that you are doing
the sensible thing. You can blind yourself utterly to the truth for a
time. But some day you've got to realize that the only real thing in
life is love, and that you are powerless to make it live or die.”
After that they sat a long time in silence, until Miss Lady rose
abruptly and, making some excuse, took a hurried departure. She was
frightened at what she had said, at what she had thought. She was
terrified at this strange, new self, that spoke out of a strange, new
experience, and set at naught all her carefully acquired opinions. It
was not until she reached home after a brisk walk through the crisp air,
that the turmoil in her brain subsided.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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