"The suicide," replied Zara, "has no soul. He kills his body, and by
the very act proves that whatever germ of an immortal existence he may
have had once, has escaped from its unworthy habitation, and gone, like
a flying spark, to find a chance of growth elsewhere. Surely your own
reason proves this to you? The very animals have more soul than a man
who commits suicide. The beasts of prey slay each other for hunger or
in self-defence, but they do not slay themselves. That is a brutality
left to man alone, with its companion degradation, drunkenness."
I mused awhile in silence.
"In all the wickedness and cruelty of mankind," I said, "it is almost a
wonder that there is any spiritual existence left on earth at all. Why
should God trouble Himself to care for such few souls as thoroughly
believe in and love Him?--they can be but a mere handful."
"Such a mere handful are worth more than the world to him," said Zara
gravely. "Oh, my dear, do not say such things as why should God trouble
Himself? Why do you trouble yourself for the safety and happiness of
anyone you love?"
Her eyes grew soft and tender, and the jewel she wore glimmered like
moonlight on the sea. I felt a little abashed, and, to change the
subject, I said:
"Tell me, Zara, what is that stone you always wear? Is it a talisman?"
"It belonged to a king," said Zara,--"at least, it was found in a
king's coffin. It has been in our family for generations. Casimir says
it is an electric stone--there are such still to be found in remote
parts of the sea. Do you like it?"
"It is very brilliant and lovely," I said.
"When I die," went on Zara slowly, "I will leave it to you."
"I hope I shall have to wait a long time before I get it, then," I
exclaimed, embracing her affectionately. "Indeed, I will pray never to
receive it."
"You will pray wrongly," said Zara, smiling. "But tell me, do you quite
understand from my explanation what Casimir will do to you?"
"I think I do."
"And you are not afraid?"
"Not at all. Shall I suffer any pain?"
"No actual pang. You will feel giddy for a moment, and your body will
become unconscious. That is all."
I meditated for a few moments, and then looking up, saw Zara's eyes
watching me with a wistful inquiring tenderness. I answered her look
with a smile, and said, half gaily:
"L'audace, l'audace, et toujours l'audace! That must be my motto, Zara.
I have a chance now of proving how far a woman's bravery can go, and I
assure you I am proud of the opportunity. Your brother uttered some
very cutting remarks on the general inaptitude of the female sex when I
first made his acquaintance; so, for the honour of the thing, I must
follow the path I have begun to tread. A plunge into the unseen world
is surely a bold step for a woman, and I am determined to take it
courageously."
"That is well," said Zara. "I do not think it possible for you ever to
regret it. It is growing late--shall we prepare for dinner?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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