I knew and felt that there were good and evil forces. Now, suppose Zara
were commanded by some strange evil thing, unguessed at, undreamt of in
the wildest night-mare? I shuddered as with icy cold. It could not be.
I resolutely refused to admit such a fearful conjecture. Why, I thought
to myself, with a faint smile, I was no better in my imaginings than
the so virtuous and ever-respectable Suzanne Michot of whom Madame
Denise had spoken. Still the hateful thought came back again and again,
and refused to go away.
I went to my old place at the window and looked out. The moonlight fell
in cold slanting rays; but an army of dark clouds were hurrying up from
the horizon, looking in their weird shapes like the mounted Walkyres in
Wagner's "Niebelungen Ring," galloping to Walhalla with the bodies of
dead warriors slung before them. A low moaning wind had arisen, and was
beginning to sob round the house like the Banshee. Hark! what was that?
I started violently. Surely that was a faint shriek? I listened
intently. Nothing but the wind rustling among some creaking branches.
"A woman wailing for her demon-lover."
How that line haunted me! And with, it there slowly grew up in my mind
a black looming horror; an idea, vague and ghastly, that froze my blood
and turned me faint and giddy. Suppose, when I had consented to be
experimented upon by Heliobas--when my soul in the electric trance was
lifted up to the unseen world--suppose an evil force, terrible and
all-compelling, were to dominate ME and hold me forever and ever! I
gasped for breath! Oh, so much the more need of prayer!
"Pray much and often, with as unselfish a heart as you can prepare."
Thus Heliobas had said; and I thought to myself, if all those who were
on the brink of great sin or crime could only be brought to feel
beforehand what I felt when facing the spectral dread of unknown evil,
then surely sins would be fewer and crimes never committed. And I
murmured softly, "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from
evil."
The mere utterance of these words seemed to calm and encourage me; and
as I gazed up at the sky again, with its gathering clouds, one star,
like a bright consoling eye, looked at me, glittering cheerfully amid
the surrounding darkness.
More than ten minutes had elapsed since Prince Ivan had left the room,
and there was no sound of returning footsteps. And where was Zara? I
determined to seek her. I was free to go anywhere in the house, only
avoiding her studio during her hours of work; and she never worked at
night. I would go to her and confide all my strange thoughts and
terrors to her friendly sympathy. I hurried through the hall and up the
staircase quickly, and should have gone straight into Zara's boudoir
had I not heard a sound of voices which caused me to stop precipitately
outside the door. Zara was speaking. Her low, musical accents fell like
a silver chime on the air.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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