Though I sent cordial invitations to Mr. Spence to lecture at my
receptions, he invariably declined. I sometimes fancied that it might be
because I did not extend them to Miss Kingsley also. I judged from what
I saw in the newspapers, as well as from what Mr. Fleisch told me, that
the number of his followers was diminishing in spite of his most earnest
efforts, and that Miss Kingsley was now his only really devoted
supporter. The knowledge of this counteracted my scruples against her so
far that I sent an invitation to them both, with the assurance that Mr.
Spence's lecture should be the feature of the occasion. They accepted,
not altogether to my surprise, and I did my best to select an
appreciative audience. Mr. Spence looked worn and dispirited I thought,
but as he warmed to his theme the light in his eyes seemed as vivid as
ever. The sweetness of his tones was however unfortunately impaired by a
heavy cold, and though I, being familiar with the lecture,--"Tension
and Torpor of the Nerves,"--felt some of my old enthusiasm, it was soon
evident to me that the majority of his listeners were bored. The
appearance of Miss Kingsley likewise created an impression that reacted
on the philosopher. She was very much overdressed, and made a marked
effort to carry the assembly by storm. She played the double role of a
would-be arch coquette and hero-worshipper, and while chanting the
talent of the lecturer, omitted no effort to secure admiration on her
own account. There are always a few men who are amused for the moment by
this sort of thing, but I could see the eye-glasses of the censors
raised wonderingly, and the turned shoulders grow colder, as the evening
advanced. I was sorry for them both, even for her; and not many days
after, I wrote Mr. Spence a long letter, in which I referred to the
great influence in the way of discipline which I felt his instruction
had had upon me, and inclosed a check for a considerable sum, which I
asked him to accept as a contribution towards endowing a school where
lectures should be delivered on the leading features of Moderation. I
cannot say that I did this without some scruples, on the score that I no
longer had much faith in the soundness of any of his ideas, but I
condoned the weakness with my conscience by debiting the amount to
charity. After all, he could not do much harm by his teachings, and I
hated to think that a man so earnest as he should know the bitterness of
total failure.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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